Nerdy April's Space Adventures

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

2012-01-28T21:33:00.001-06:00

Today's adventure: stepping aboard the Boeing 787 Dreamliner.

You know, that ridiculously nice aircraft that has some sweet engines and nacelles?! Oh yes, and Chris is working on its next-gen brocraft. [Yup, brother aircraft = brocraft]

He was so excited as we drove up and saw it's incredibly sexy wing sticking out from around the hangar. It was his first chance to see the end-product of his countless hours slaving away on the intricate CAD drawings. And I couldn't be more proud.

"Hey look April, that is the section I designed!"

I'm totally diggin' the swoopy noise-reducing nacelles. Oh yes, and that hot guy in the picture!

This was the 3rd 787 to roll off the production line and is still technically a flight test bird even though it is on a "world tour".

I'm so proud to be engaged to this awesome guy who shares my love for all things aerospace. Love you babe!

I said it, and I'm a she

2012-01-25T17:59:00.002-06:00

Who doesn't like a good "that's what she said" joke? Man, sometimes it is all I can do to not bust out laughing to a crude, poorly worded sentence that is not complete until a "that's what she said" is added. Stop judging me...I work around literally a building full of dudes, it happens.

So how could we pass up the opportunity to include my favorite type of joke in our engagement pictures?!

Oh that's right, we couldn't pass it up.

And it's true...that IS what I said, sort of. After the ocean of overwhelming shock rolled out.

See, the thing is, Chris didn't woo me with a fancy dinner, a hot-air balloon ride, or a sky diving adventure. He didn't write "will you marry me?" in the sky or on the beach or even spelled out with strawberries. It was so much simpler than all that, and consequently, much more of a surprise. It was perfectly "us". We aren't exactly fancy people, heck our first date was in the wee hours of the morning at a waffle house. Really, it was just a simple question with a simple (after the shock) answer.

So how did I get to our engagement story from a "that's what she said" joke introduction? Well, I don't really know, it's just my brain on ~~crack~~ wedding planning these days.

Anyone have some great TWSS one-liners? Think long and hard about it. Crap.

On Becoming An Astronaut

2012-01-20T15:26:00.000-06:00

After my 6th grade speech at the
Mesa Public Schools Space Shuttle Simulator dedication,
receiving an award from the American Helicopter Society.
(I'm that goofy young one on the right ;-)

Today is a big day for me. In fact, I have been awaiting this day since kindergarten. I have been preparing for it since 3rd grade. I have focused my life to aim for it, and somehow not be consumed by it. I have had many meetings which have only worked to confirm my commitment. I have never wanted something for so long, or so intensely.
And now it is here: the first time I am eligible to submit by application to be an astronaut.

It is kinda a big deal.

At least to me.

And while I am beyond excited that my credentials and mental efforts have brought me here, I am in another way preparing myself for the guaranteed rejection letter. It is truth that a sentence containing the words "Diabetes" and "Astronaut" will be quickly followed with "Disqualified" - at least right now. But shifting paradigms is the essence of my personal life goals. My kindergarten dream was to become an astronaut, my diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes when I was 11 forced a shift to be the first Diabetic in space, and my current dream is to chip away at the boundaries little by little to make "Diabetes" and "Astronaut" live comfortably in the same sentence - someday.

If I don't try my best to break the medical barriers of spaceflight, who will?

So it is a careful balance - wanting something bad enough to fight for it, but being reasonable enough to realize your inherent limitations as only an individual, a confined catalyst. Do I want to be an astronaut with all my being? Of course. Am I willing to stick my neck out there and fight the current? No doubt. Have I molded my life in such a way to actively change the ideas NASA has relied on for years? You bet your ass. Am I smart enough to present logical research and solutions? I would like to think so. Do I think the title of "Astronaut" is in my future? Well, I'm not so sure.

But I'm willing to try my best to find out.

Wedded Wednesday

2012-01-18T16:47:00.002-06:00

I love a SCUBA Dive Master! Hopefully he loves an Army Flight Test Engineer?!

As I scribbled in my wedding notebook (which is a completely unorganized assortment of lists, some on engineering paper, others on printer paper, and still others on envelopes or other random scraps within reach at the time) the other day, I realized how precious these relatively numbered weeks are - the 20 weeks until the "F" and I transition to being the "H" and I, err, "W".

So...I am approaching blogging on Wednesdays with renewed vigor, at least wedding-speaking [is it bad I kinda chuckled when I realized Wednesday is "hump" day? Crap, maybe I shouldn't have typed that....whoops!]. Annnnnyway.....

We are now in the thick of it: hotels, rehearsal dinner, musical surprises, coordination, flowers, centerpieces, DJs, etc, etc.

Thankfully Chris and I are much the same when it comes to this whole wedding planning thingy. We are both focused on the ceremony and what those few minutes will accomplish. We know this whole long distance thing would not have worked out without plenty of spiritual intervention and it is extremely exciting to be able to culminate those feelings in June!

As for me, I am looking forward to seeing a lot of my family that I don't get to see too often. And it will be fun to all be together again. I will admit that I am a little nervous about being the center-ish of attention (ok maybe just slightly to the left of center). I hope my nerves settle down before the big day, but if not, at least I will have Chris right there!

Any tips for 20-weeks out?!

And, yes, I am breathing...in fact my blood pressure today was 90/60. Take that!

I feel like such a jerk posting these pictures...

2012-01-09T21:54:00.001-06:00

who is ready for some helicopter performance training?

this girl.

who loves the beach more and more every time she sees it?

this girl.

who wants to skip over all this wedding planning and go straight to the honeymoon complete with plenty of beach, scuba, and oh ya, Chris?

this girl.

.........

hurray for helicopter performance training!!

Marriage Advice

2011-12-16T11:45:00.001-06:00

Marriage Advice….it’s free, and flowing immediately after you utter the words “engaged”.

Maybe you already know this.

I, personally, had no idea.

And thus, if all I had to go on was this free-flowing, all-knowing “advice” I would have nightmares about death, doom, destruction, honey-do lists, bleach, in-laws, in-mates, booze, Hooters, football, car parts, “bro’s”, “ho’s”, Mexican food, X-Box, guns, dogs, alligators, the cabin, the cabin filled with “bro’s”, the cabin filled with “bro’s” and guns, drinking games, and man-time with nerdy shows like The Big Band Theory and CSPAN.

Oh wait, that’s the exact same list I came up with before moving to Alabama.

{crickets}

Luckily Chris and I have many great role models who have evidently prevailed through the cliché ball and chain. Heck my entire division at work is a model for marital success (that’s right, I’m the only single lady, and only lady for that matter). Many of them even survived a marriage with the military involved, which, from the little I know, sounds rough. Even now their wives trust them flying experimental helicopters, or (in the case of the engineers) smacking away on their TI-89s (which can be dangerous too).

We both have family that can boast 50+ years of wedded bliss, and our peer role models, Holly and Trey, Nate and Tobie, and Megan and Jay!

So this brings me to a little pre-marriage pondering...what is with all these people jokingly (and sometimes not so jokingly) telling us we are stupid to get married? After establishing that we are young and stupid they proceed to paint a terrible picture of married life, mentioning many of those keywords I stated above. And the very last thing they say, "You better make sure you have done all the crazy things you want because once you get married those days are over."

And I realized that I am not ready to give up doing crazy things, I’m just ready to do crazy things with my best friend, and soon-to-be husband, Chris.

So, sorry un-asked-for-advice-givers, we are getting married, we will probably still do crazy things (autocross anyone?), and hopefully we will live happily ever after!!

Here I Am.

2011-12-08T07:09:00.001-06:00

Yes, I am reusing an old Nerdy April holiday header. Don't judge me.

And yes, I apologize for the unintentional blog-hiatus experienced this past month.

And and yes, all of my writing juices are currently being pumped into ye old grad school papers, and therefore, you, the wonderful readers of my blog will be getting a few more picture updates than normal. Roll with me people. This will hopefully be short lived, since my picture taking skills are less than stellar.

(1) A beautiful crocheted ornament my mom made for me :-)

(2) My lame attempt at a hand-made card for the "F" this Christmas.

(3) Our purple and teal tree, although themed, it does include a purple robot and a sock monkey.

(4) Our music room decorations, these are some of my favorites.

(5) A sweet heart on the fiber optic tree, the tree itself has a story, which may or may not involve my sister puking out the door of my parent's pimpin' 1994 blue Aerostar van. Yup.

(6) Some reindeers I painted last year at my first painting party ever.

(7) And one of my most favorite-est ornaments ever...the Peanuts gang ringing handbells, complete with music box capabilities and real ringing motion!

Aww. Christmas makes me miss home.

World Diabetes Day

2011-11-14T05:00:00.000-06:00

Diabetes is sort of a funny thing.

I mean, I guess it is a "thing" but you can't really reach out and touch it, or punch it in the face, or tell it how you hate it when it gives you the shakes or makes your teeth feel sweater-ed. You can't send it hate mail or that grotty fruit cake stuff for the holidays. And you definitely can't tell it to get lost, take a hike or, my personal favorite, SCRAM (well, you could, but it doesn't really have ears).

And yet, for not really being a physical "thing", it is a really big "thing" in any Diabetic's life.

For instance, without the relatively new treatment of insulin (only since 1922) Diabetes would have killed me shortly before my twelfth birthday. I would never have gone to college, much less graduate with an Aerospace Engineering degree, I would never have been the drum major or the high school newspaper's editor in chief, my sister would have become an only child, and I would never have met that sweet guy Chris, the love of my life. Heck, I would never have been part of the Diabetes Online Community (DOC) because, well, there wouldn't really be anyone alive to write about our common Diabetes bond.

You might think all of that is pretty harsh, but the truth is, Diabetes itself is pretty harsh. It's not a fun ailment, label, or category. It doesn't have days off, or even hours or minutes off. It is needy emotionally, physically, and financially. It doesn't care if you had a bad day at work, it will make sure you have a rough night. It makes you moody and tired and lonely. And it does all these things with no invitation, no reason, no prevention.

It just really isn't fair.

But we all have trials [my lovely, religious mom would call these "crosses we must bear"], and it just so happens Type 1 Diabetes is mine.

Today is World Diabetes Day. I won't be "celebrating" but I will be "participating" in the Big Blue Test and other World Diabetes Day activities. But most of all, today, I will just be me...a girl, a friend, a fiance, a daughter, a granddaughter, a great-granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a sister, a college graduate, a college student, a Flight Test Engineer...oh yes, and a Type 1 Diabetic.

Another First on Friday!

2011-11-11T07:22:00.001-06:00

Breaking new Diabetes ground isn't that hard. You just have to show up, strap in, and figure out when to take your pump off.

Let me explain...

This week I traveled down to Ft. Rucker, AL for my altitude chamber certification. I brought my flight suit, boots, and a copy of my special issuance Class III FAA Medical along. Everything was smooth sailing until the doctor giving the brief mentioned that we shouldn't have any electronics on our person in the chamber. [For those that don't know, an altitude chamber simulates the pressure at various altitudes. On our "flight" we went to 25,000 ft, dropped our oxygen masks and determined our personal symptoms of hypoxia.]

"Crap," I thought. "I drove all the way down here, listened to this hour-long brief, just to get told at the last minute that I can't participate. Great."

So, I kept my fingers crossed and approached the doc at the end of the brief, as we were to make our way to the chamber. I explained that I had Type 1 Diabetes and administered insulin via insulin pump. We talked about possibly just unhooking, but after realizing the "flight" would be at least 45 minutes, if nothing went wrong, the doc just wasn't comfortable with me being insulin-less for that amount of time, or longer. [I was nervous that the decreased pressure at altitude might cause any trapped gas within the pump to expand and crack, or somehow damage the pump.]

We headed up to the Colonel's office, I was embarrassed to be such a pain. When we stepped in his office, he was excited! Yes, you read that right, excited! The doc with me explained the situation and the Colonel together with a by standing Major talked through a scenario that we all agreed would work. The Colonel mentioned that to his knowledge I was the first Type 1 Diabetic to ever go through their chamber. He then proceeded to explain how he never gets to work on "medical challenges" anymore, he even told the doc that they should write it up in the Army Aeromedical Journal following the chamber flight. I honestly have never seen three doctors so excited about my Diabetes! Usually they are trying anything in their power to ground me, but not today!

So, I strapped in, pump and all and completed my 30 minutes of de-nitrogen in the chamber's "lock" area [similar to an air lock]. After that I took the pump off [only being insulin-less for approximately 20 minutes] took one big breath, unhooked my oxygen supply, held my breath and ran to my actual "chamber " seat. The men helping us inside the chamber made sure I was re-hooked and that was it. I was back to being just one of the guys [turns out I was the only girl, big surprise].

After the flight was over I reattached 'le pump and headed to the debrief [by the way, my hypoxia symptoms are euphoria, denial and hot/cold flashes in case anyone happens to be on a plane with me during a decompression!].

In my opinion, every little bit counts, even somewhat trivial procedures to allow a Type 1 Diabetic to experience the altitude chamber. We are getting there. Slowly but surely.

Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines!

2011-11-09T11:51:00.002-06:00

Wordless Wednesday from the Army Aviation Museum at Ft. Rucker, AL.

Chris Does Homework for Type 1 Day

2011-11-01T05:39:00.000-05:00

Today I am telling you all something you probably already know: I have Type 1 Diabetes.

It's true.

Today is November 1st, the first day of Diabetes month, and more specifically, Type 1 Day!

I was thinking about what to write for this really special day....

hmmm....

He's cute, and likes to fish!!

I could definitely tell you all about the mechanics (blood sugar testing, site changes, carbohydrate counting), or about the insurance companies, or about the day I was diagnosed, or about all the friends I have met by having the disease. But I thought I might do something a little different.

I asked the "F" (Chris) to write what its like to live with me, and my friend D. I couldn't believe how willing he was to write about this seemingly boring topic. And when I opened up his "homework" it brought tears to my eyes. I hope you enjoy his words, and thank you Chris, for being such a wonderful person in my life!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is my homework assignment...Halloween assignment that is. The kids stopped coming to thedoor an hour or so ago and since then I have been pondering my "homework". Being that today is the beginning of D awareness month, I am supposed to write a blog describingliving with April.

April and I have been living together now for a little overa year. In that time I have had the chance to see both the extreme highs andlows of the Glucoaster. To be honest, I’m not a fan. Many would tell me that Idon’t know what it’s like living with diabetes. While I would beg to differ, I can’t. April is usually keenon ‘sharing’ the physical and emotional sides of the ups and downs. And muchlike having type-1, they’re ‘shared’ with me whether I want them or not.

Also,I live with the constant worry and stress of wondering about a number on amachine often hundreds or thousands of miles away, where, while I pride myselfon being a rescuer of many sorts, I’m useless. Undoubtedly, this has kept me upmore than one night.

But, April,before you don the albatross, relax; land is fast approaching. I do, with allmy heart, wish April didn’t have diabetes. I wish so many of the young people,and old, around the world didn’t. Well… almost. If April didn’t have diabetes,she would, inevitably, be a different person. While I do wish that April didn’thave to endure the stomach wrenching turns of the glucoster, her disease hasforced her to be a strong fighter that many, not living in a house withdiabetes, wouldn’t understand.

That ‘fight’ in April is what makes me love her.It seems like every week some person or entity tells her ‘no’. (recently the#!$%!@ FAA) It is then when April shines her brightest. Her ability to pickherself up and continue on un-phased is simply awe-inspiring. She posts blogsand tells stories of these run-ins that, I know, inspire others. April is aguiding light in the diabetes community who is helping pioneer a path through ajungle of litigation like no regular lumberjack could, no matter how big thesaw.

I love you April, for the exact person you are, no more, no less, and Ican’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

To the D Community:

We all have our inspirations. I charge you to thankyours. Whether it’s April, KerriS. (@SixUntilMe), or whoever, please let them know. Comment on posts, call ‘em,mail a postcard, or thank them in person. Your comments mean more to them thanyou would ever imagine.

Well, Izzy and Gordo think it’s bed time… guess I shouldtuck them in…

Chris Out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I told you he was amazing....and if you were a doubter, well, this should be some proof ;-) Thank you so much Chris!!!!

Boo!

2011-10-31T14:08:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!!

From your favorite FRIGHT Test Engineer!!

So we threw a halloween part last weekend, since I am up in Lexington, KY this week for work!

(1) Look at all the yummy food I made.

(2) More food...I'm so freaking proud of all this crap!

(3) Me: Leg Lamp from Christmas Story, Chris: the standard Race Car Driver

(4) Shufflin to some LMFAO complete with fake gun...(fake gun courtesy of Megan's gangster costume)

The Time I Realized My Life is Sorta a HOT MESS

2011-10-27T19:49:00.000-05:00

...and that time was tonight. As I was reading my e-mail (don't worry, I'm not Strongbad). It is not uncommon for me, as a blogger, to receive somewhat spam e-mails that tell me my blog is awesome, I should include it in a database, or maybe they have decided to include it in some database without consent (it's a blog, which means I don't really care who reads it or searches a database for it...otherwise I wouldn't write it!!). Well, tonight I had to chuckle at the description they put with ye olde nerdyapril.blogspot.com:

Covers diabetes, personal health, and aerospace engineering. Features the diabetes patient experience from a personal perspective while offering advice, support, and general information. Also a platform for the blogger's lifelong passion: aerospace engineering.

And if that doesn't sound like a HOT MESS, then I don't know what does. Diabetes, patient, health, oh...and Aerospace freaking Engineering?!?!?!

Awesome is all I have to say...awesome. Yes, that is me...I am a Diabetic and I really like my job. Any questions?!

Nerdy April Out.

Simplicity

2011-10-25T21:31:00.000-05:00

In an effort to ease some of my building stress and anxiety I have been trying to focus on the little, simple things in life. Sometimes I focus on learning a new song on the piano or just playing some of my old favorites, other times I cook a thoughtful meal or pick out a new topic to read books about. It has been surprisingly helpful! I try my best not to get worked up about trivial things and I always try to have something to look forward to...even if it is just trivia night every Thursday!

Anyway, so why am I boring you with all these simple, minuscule details about my life?

And the answer: well, these are nerdy April's space ADVENTURES, and I just want to assure you, I still have many adventures, everyday in fact.

Like the other day, when I sat down in a shady spot in our newly sodded backyard. It was peaceful and perfect. I found some bright red leaves, newly fallen and enjoyed watching our hooligan children chase each other and the squirrels around the yard. It sounds so corny, but I truly embrace sweet moments like these:

Eat This Not That

2011-10-21T10:51:00.002-05:00

...or don't eat this, and instead eat that!

It is no secret that I currently live in Alabama, but my home is really still back in sunny Arizona! And there is one thing I always took for granted living there...all the amazing fresh fruit!!! So the other day I had this really crazy craving for some fresh grapefruit. Mmm...I used to love grabbing a ripe fruit from the tree, slicing it open and eating out the insides with a fork! So, I picked up an entire bag of fresh grapefruit from Target (my closest grocer). I was so excited to take a sample to work and stuff my face with delicious grapefruit for lunch!! I even took a pretty picture pre-stuffing face...

But as I took that first bite, I realized I had made a terrible mistake. It turns out non-yellow, Arizona-type grapefruit are GROSS!! Like, sick, disgusting, horrible, tart, nasty!! I hated it...and I will not be buying these ever again...I couldn't even get Chris to eat them!!

So, here is my recommendation:

It sounds crazy...but try yourself some VitaMuffins. Especially if you are a Diabetic.

I mean, look at those reasonable calories and fat, and tons of fiber!! These were recommended to me by my nutritionist up at Vanderbilt. After she walked out of the room I looked at Chris and said, "Is she crazy?!?! Vita-freaking-muffins?!?" She said they are good "weight loss treats". I decided to take her word for it and threw some Vitamuffins in my cart (found in the frozen food section). They actually taste pretty good, much better than their terrible name would have you believe!

Oh yes, I also recommend pairing them with an **orange**...trust me its much better than the grapefruit!

A Mashup of Technical Sludge and Hope: Diabetes Style

2011-10-19T12:49:00.000-05:00

Here's a newsflash for you: the future of Diabetes management and the hope for potential cures is an emotional topic. I know you're all shocked!

But sometimes as Diabetics living with the disease day in and day out, we get lulled into the technical sludge of recording blood sugars, making basal adjustments, and squeezing in at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. It's a job, it's a necessary evil, it's a chore. And facing all of the technical drama...

We sometimes forget to hope.

Last week I learned that parents of Type 1's never forget to hope. Yes, they may feel overwhelmed at times by such a time-intensive disease, with such dire consequences for less than stellar performance. But they rise above the trivialities of individual blood sugar readings and an extra sliver of brownie...they know what life is like without the burden of Diabetes.

And so...

...they attend meetings (like the one last week at HudsonAlpha), they fellowship, they freely sign their children up to donate blood for research studies, they hope...collectively, as a team.

I thought about this aura of hope throughout the meeting while researchers described new ways to detect potential Diabetic candidates early. I thought about it that night, and the next day. And then I decided to engage in a conversation with one of my coworkers...to share my excitement about the technical aspects of the talk. While he does not have Diabetes, I thought he would share in my excitement since he has another disease that is being researched in the study. Instead, I was met with a politically correct form of hostility. He brought politics into the mix, and insurance companies, and how we as Type 1's are such a small percentage of the population, and by imposing these new blood tests on everyone we will be raising health insurance costs for the entire nation.

And as I tried to fight back, I knew it was pointless.

Someone I thought might be empathetic, was definitely not. To his defense, he really is a great friend, and even this little chat won't change that. However, my political views are simply that: mine. I don't like fighting about them, especially when the topic at hand was not meant to be political, but rather personal.

My excitement and hope built from the night before, was now completely null. And I realized this event was just a microcosm of the bigger picture. We are constantly fighting battles we shouldn't have to fight. Having Diabetes doesn't mean we are insurance megaminds, political activists, debate specialists, or avid public speakers.

Having Diabetes only means one thing really...that we deserve the right to be hopeful for a cure.

The Time I Met a Nimrod Pilot...and Other Adventures

2011-10-17T13:57:00.000-05:00

I have been putting off writing this post for a while. Not because I think the experience was anything less than amazing, but because I am nervous I won't do it justice with just a few bloggy words and accompanying pictures.

But I will try, because I have been unofficially tasked with reminding some of our ~~aging~~ wise pilots that their jobs are still cool.

To set the tone, I will deliver this post via my inner badass fighter pilot. Roll with it. [Or pitch with it, or yaw with it. Oh boy.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There I was. Far away from home, in a concrete jungle, full of enemies (i.e. loads of little kids). I had neither a traditional weapon, nor any meal provisions, my ruck sack carried only my useless laptop and a very serious schedule (+/- 30 seconds for sure). The smog of enemy weapons hung heavy in the air (or maybe that was just the smog of LA). It was bad out there...it was downright dangerous.

I hiked over treacherous terrain to day 1, a little uneasy. As a fighter pilot, of course, I would never admit that I was nervous or intimidated. I had to be confident, even in the face of my peers (wait, I'm a fighter pilot, I have no peers!). I'm sure as I walked in the room, those newbies were whispering that I was the famous fighter pilot Top Gun was based on.

I grabbed a quick cup of Joe and sat down waiting to hear about flight test lessons learned. Lucky for me, as a badass fighter pilot I had already learned all these lessons (psshhtttt...ok, seriously, as a naive-junior-pee-on-freshman-popasquatonthefloorofahelicopter flight test engineer I had no idea I could learn so much). But, I listened intently to those less fortunate than I. Yes, I heard about the X-2, the Nimrod, the 787, the Gripen, Space Ship 2, and many other flying machines. I'm sure if they had me as their chief test pilot they would have nothing to report on here, at the Society of Experimental Test Pilots symposium. No need to learn lessons when you're perfect.

I mingled with men and women wearing spiffy uniforms, chief test pilots, astronauts, and those super-annoying flight test engineers that tag along to these symposia even when they're not invited. Didn't they see the sign? Society of Experimental TEST PILOTS!!! Those nerds better check their six if I ever find them in a dark alley (or Space Mountain).

I had to whip out my glasses in an effort to enhance my intelligent-aura. I don't need them to see of course, they just make me look smarter in these scenarios. Outside, I quickly replaced them with my standard-issue RayBan's...duh!

I snagged this snazzy, squishy jet between sessions. It will come in handy when I do hand-reenactments of all my greatest fighter pilot moments.

Oh, don't let me forget about how I had to suffer through a luncheon event. Don't these people know I work hard to keep this amazing body in shape? Us fighter pilots workout with P9000X, it's only available to members of the Badass Aerodynamic Redout Fighterpilots club (BARF for short), which I am the President. That's right, BARF President right here.

And during the luncheon, we were forced to listen to the inspiring words of George Whitesides, Virgin Galactic CEO, and his plan to send us all to space. All I could think about was sending those blasted Flight Test Engineers to space...haha, suckers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The truth is, my inner fighter pilot didn't make an appearance at all while I attended the Society of Flight Test Engineers symposium. Sure, I was privy to some great presentations, incredible people, and inspiring messages. We all were. I dined with men who paved the way for my career, individuals who pushed envelopes, and people who represented the best in aviation and aerospace. We were there collectively, to learn from others mistakes in order to improve safety and testing efficiency. We listened, we talked, we gleaned, we immersed.

But maybe deep down, we were brought together to soak up the underlying vibe...the stories, the lessons, the experiences... to remind ourselves that we have a pretty sweet job...yes, even us Flight Test Engineers ;-)

Nerdy 'Nauts

2011-10-15T16:21:00.000-05:00

They came to Alabama with a banjo on their knee...

And wound up at the Space Center to take a picture just for me!!!

Happy Saturday everyone!!

And thanks for coming all the way out to Alabama Mom and Dad!!

October Time

2011-10-13T06:28:00.001-05:00

My blog has been stale because my life has been delicious. It is an inverse relationship...

Life Pace = 1/Number of Blog Posts

As you can see as the number of blog posts goes to zero, the value of life pace goes to infinity. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about please continue reading...I promise to limit my nonsense equations.

The truth is I have had some grand adventures lately. And by "grand" I really mean "grand", huge, incredible, exhilarating. They are so grand they warrant their own post...not to be confused with this post, which is the pre-grand adventures post.

But even pre-grand adventure posts can include mini-adventures, especially if they involve mazes, bunnies, and pumpkin patches. Oh yes, and plenty of kids with Type 1 Diabetes.

Chris and I decided to tag along with the Huntsville Hot Shots group for their fall get-together at Tates Farms. And we may or may not have participated in the pumpkin gathering from 'le pumpkin patch and the hay ride and the giant jumpy thing and the farm animal petting zone.

The moral of the story: go get yerself a pumpkin from a real patch...its pretty neat-o.

The second moral of the story: don't give up on blogging for a whole month.

My First Guest Post Evaaaaaa!!!

2011-09-14T07:35:00.000-05:00

Ms. Victoria Cumbow was kind enough to let me take over her blog for a day!

Check it out here!

PS: I like how British people refer to helicopters as "choppers" on a more regular basis. The news last night included this British quote, "He was choppered out of there!"

I am totally using that more often ;-)

A Mostly Labor-less Weekend :)

2011-09-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

I honestly had an amazing weekend...nope, we didn't head to the beach or kayak, or waterski... we were just lazy and enjoyed each other's company. Don't get me wrong, we did stuff...like some patriotic clarinet time, a dinner out, some morning coffee, a relaxing church service, and a conversation with the goofy old man we have asked to marry us. Hurray for a labor-less weekend!!

When Me and D Agree

2011-09-01T13:35:00.002-05:00

Wow, that was a lot of rhyming!

Sometimes life is weird, and while you try and try and try to explain why things happen, there really is just no logical explanation. For instance...

Let's combine the following things:

1) Lots of metal rotating parts

2) Engines

3) Flight Controls

4) Jet fuel

5) A couple of competent pilots

6) A beautiful summer day

7) A banana [for low blood sugar]

8) Several agressive helicopter maneuvers

9) A little flight test engineer

10) And her friend, D

It doesn't exactly sound like a recipe for a smooth, all-day flying escapade, does it? Yesterday was my very first flight in a Black Hawk helicopter, and I am happy to report that for once in my life, Me and D Agree. We have both found our happy place...

Me: in the back of a pretty sweet helicopter, and D: at a rock solid "97". Woot. I would call that mission complete!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post is my entry for Diabetes Art Day! I think it is a fitting reminder that we can do anything we put our minds to!!

A Birthday Message

2011-08-31T07:30:00.000-05:00

My sister always complains that I don't talk about her enough on my blog. Well, Heather....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Don't work too hard at college today ;-)

Anxiety: I haz it [sometimes]

2011-08-27T21:47:00.003-05:00

I am nervous to admit this to my reader population, especially since I work with some of you, I am related to some of you, and I am engaged to one of you. Since moving to Huntsville I have experienced some wicked anxiety. And I'm sure ya'll are thinking, "Sure, she moved away from home...like FAR away from home". But it's really so much more than that. My life has completely changed. I am hardly the April of 2 years ago. Hopefully I am a better version, but maybe not completely.

And this whole anxiety issue has crept up and dispersed throughout most of my daily activities. Let me be the first to admit...it is absolutely horrible. I am always nervous about what I say and what I do and how people will judge me. My mind's default phrase has been "what if?" and now I have even bigger what ifs...like...

What if I'm a terrible wife?

What if I'm a terrible mom?

What if I can't even be a mom?

And of course, the THOUGHT: what if my child gets Diabetes?

Oh boy, these are some hard questions to answer for a recently engaged, 20-something woman. These questions go beyond my deepest passion, beyond the astronaut quest, beyond my career goals. These questions really are the foundations of my life.

Of course, these questions and thoughts come in cycles...and recently, while in Colorado for work, I had a complete question crop-up. I decided to text Chris [I would have called, but he was celebrating his last final at Planet of the Apes....awkward, I know].

And a slight disclaimer...Chris will probably be really embarrassed that I published his sweet talks, but I think they really show how much he builds me up when I am super down about almighty D.

Me: Do you ever wish you were engaged to a normal girl...I mean like one without Diabetes?
Chris: No. You are all I ever dreamed of and so much more...
Me: I'm just so nervous...what if we can't have kids...or what if we can, but they get Diabetes?
Chris: Haha...don't worry! We can adopt. And Diabetes isn't genetic.
Me: I know, but I don't want anyone else to have it.

Chris: Haha. You're a spotlight in the D world. You are one of the few Diabetics that didn't take no for an answer. I think we would be lucky if our kid has Diabetes. You're the best support team ever!!

And just like that, my quick spurt of anxiety was gone, completely dissipated. The truth is, I am one lucky girl; a girl who needs help and gets it, from the best person in the world.

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.

2011-08-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

It's true, I quoted Princess Bride for a blog title. Oh boy, it's been a long week.

I think it is high time for a wedding related post...after all, it is sort of consuming our free time at an incredible pace. We are, as of today, W-288 days and counting.

It is definitely coming, some days it feels too soon, and other days not soon enough!!

I think Chris and I are making great progress in the wedding planning arena. For instance, we have a date [June 9, 2012!], booked our church, reserved the reception site, secured our photographers, and agreed on our small-ish wedding party! Beyond these "large" items, my mom helped me pick out a set up for the centerpieces and came along to help me choose my DRESS!!!

Sneak Peak!

Although he may be reluctant to admit it, I think Chris is excited [sometimes I think he is more excited than me!!]. We have already learned a lot about each other, and after four years and 1600+ miles apart we really can't wait to be each other's forever!!

You could say it's twuuee wuv, or something like that.

Diverbetes Revisited

2011-08-24T12:29:00.001-05:00

The essence of my life is to push boundaries...to prove I can still accomplish things in a society ignorant and scared of what they don't understand. And this leads me to my second *BIG ANNOUNCEMENT*!!

Now, if I could just convince Izzy to come with me!!

I am officially a certified NAUI SCUBA Diver - Diabetes included. And while Google couldn't give me a great statistic about how many Type 1 divers there are, I'm fairly certain it is a somewhat exclusive group. [The FAA only grants ~400 Type 1 medical waivers a year, for comparison].

I have to say that I am extremely proud of myself for accomplishing this goal. While I was excited to start and finish, I was also a complete nervous wreck. Having Diabetes coupled with the underwater lack-of-ability-to-monitor-it was complicated and stressful and as I found out, sometimes dangerous. It was hard to plan for my body's reaction to swimming, as well as being off the pump for extended amounts of time. It also made me nervous to complete many of the skills and dives without Chris right next to me. Sure, he was always there, in the quarry or pool somewhere, but not necessarily beside me or within shouting distance (he is now a certified Rescue Diver, and soon to be Dive Master!!). You don't realize how much someone provides an invisible safety net until you are forced to go outside your comfort zone without them!

I am so glad Dana agreed to teach me, knowing full well that I am equipped with that extra friend, 'Dee'. It would have been impossible to convince a commercial dive-shop that I truly am capable and competent, Dee and all [trust me, I've looked into it!].

For now, I am happy the quarry dives are behind me, and I can't wait to dive in those warm waters in the Caribbean for our honeymoon *fingers crossed*!!

Time For A...

2011-08-17T20:24:00.000-05:00

...desparately needed blog update! Goodness!

So much has happened in these last couple of weeks. The whirlwind of activites has left me crawling into bed instead of onto my blog, and for that I apologize!!

The most important news?!?!? Well, the F (formerly known as the BF) graduated from college!!!! Hurray!! We are now officially (minus the marriage certificate) a dual Aerospace Engineer household. He even gussied up his cap for the special occasion!

I guess it's "Degrees before Me" in the left picture ;-)

I really couldn't be more proud of him. I can honestly say that I know what it takes, and I am so happy he [finally] made it!! I can't wait to see where our paths lead, and it is so nice to geek out over Schrodinger's Cat every once in a while...[what's that? you don't know what Schrodinger's Cat is? Ummm....let's just say it has to do with a cat that may either be alive or dead....or you know...just Google it].
I am going to save my other very important update for a post of its own...so be on the lookout for it!

And in other news: who's tired of wedding planning?! Oh ya, this girl. I need motivation!!!!

It's kinda like the 2-mile-high club, except not at all.

2011-08-04T20:02:00.000-05:00

Yes, I just used "mile high club" in a blog title, get over it.

I've been severely lacking in my Colorado blog posting duties. In fact, I'm sure Dave has checked my blog a million times trying to catch a glimpse at my sure-to-be-incredible Colorado update...just kidding ;-) But seriously.

I usually try to capture a few lessons learned when I experience something new in flight test, for instance here, here, and here. So without further ado...the mile-high list of learned things (that was a pun...maybe the altitude is getting to me...can hypoxia symptoms = terrible use of puns? ... ok, back on topic):

1,000 ft: 04:30 flight briefs are not that bad...lesson learned: get yourself some ~~crack~~ coffee to make it through an hour of driving, an hour of bad winds, and 4+ hours of maintenance repairs. Watch out for that two o'clock yearning for some FTE-NT (flight test engineer nap time); it hits like a 1,640 lb ton of concrete. You know what I mean.

2,000 ft: Old guys sure can make some pretty hand plots. That's right...I said HAND plots. These are Excel quality, people...special characters and all. Maybe I will be able to make some badass hand plots when I'm old ;-)

3,000 ft: It turns out the CG of your suitcase shifts forward ~~slightly~~ greatly with 10 pounds of aircraft bolts inside. My genius must have kicked when I packed them on top.

4,000 ft: Everyone thinks it sucks to be a girl in a field with so many males. This couldn't be further from the truth. Just think about the bathroom situation real quick. 'Nuf said.

5,000 ft: DUDE! Baby doll heads are creepy. The end.

6,000 ft: You realize there are relatively few Flight Test Engineers in this world after you post a picture at Leadville and receive a Facebook comment from your 76 year-old Boeing friend telling you stories about when he worked there in 1955. Honestly, it probably hasn't changed much.

7,000 ft: Did anyone else think the sodas were more bubbly up here? Maybe that was just the hypoxia again.

8,000 ft: Make some time to forget about helicopters at least once a day and just soak up the beautiful scenery. This usually happened for me while looking at Mt. Massive and waiting for the coffee to kick in.

9,000 ft: When they say it's a "music festival" don't be fooled...it's really a music-heymanIjustsmokedadoobie-festival.

And the 10,000 footer......

10,000 ft: Pimped out helicopters look even sexier with those 14,000 ft peaks behind them. I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Peace out, Colorado....see you on the flip side.

You could say I'm in a funk.

2011-08-03T17:29:00.001-05:00

Can I be honest here? Oh ya, I guess I can...it's my blog and all.

Since Atlantis made her final journey home two weeks ago, I have been thinking a lot about my dream. You know, that astronaut one?

It's so hard to put into words exactly how I feel, and I'm certain anyone reading this will probably think I am a nut case for being so upset. The truth is, I am completely heart broken.

As I continue reaching for that decades-old dream, I am being confronted with more and more setbacks, mostly related to that pesky little bugger, Diabetes. And as I try to leap forward, all I feel is pushed back, unwanted, labeled, "diseased".

And sometimes, that word "diseased" is so absolutely hard to stomach.

It wasn't my fault, I did nothing to cause my pancreas to spontaneously shut down.
All I did was have a dream, and work hard towards a path where achieving it might be possible.

But as I become more of an adult and less of a naive grade school, high school and college student, the stigma of having Diabetes slaps me in the face on a weekly basis. I have to plan time off work to get the specialized care required, I am constantly on the phone with my insurance company negotiating prescriptions, pizza and beer require a full day of insulin corrections to get back to normal, and there is nothing "routine" about "routine exercise". I am constantly chasing the D-monster, more reacting than acting. And every time my blood sugar isn't perfect, the only person I have to blame is me. Kinda depressing, huh? Beyond all that, it is sickening to prove I am capable of driving a car every two years, and the mountains of paperwork required to do my job and fly in the back of a helicopter is, at times, completely overwhelming.

Will any of this ever be worth it?

Past working hard and trying to turn a blind eye to the almost inevitable reality, all I can do is hope. In the end, hope will probably not be enough to earn me a slot aboard America's next great spacecraft...and the reality of that is, like I said, heart breaking.

And while I wouldn't wish this terrible disease on anyone, I sometimes catch myself wondering why it had to choose me...why not someone whose job did not depend on their health, someone stronger than me? How could one day of a diagnosis take away your freedom and your life's dream while requiring shots and finger sticks multiple times a day? It's not fair.

Nerdy April Hits Up the CO

2011-07-28T21:47:00.001-05:00

The whole reason for that pitiful last post is because I am in Colorado for a couple weeks helping out one of our helicopter programs. Its been cold, fun, tiring, exciting, interesting, sometimes boring, and entirely beautiful. We are kinda in the middle of nowhere, which accounts for the tree hugging hippies, the less-than-stellar hotel accommodations, and the deer population in the down town area. Nevertheless, I can say nothing bad about this here scenery (click to make it big, it's even better ;-):

Tonight, after a long day at work I decided to get some fresh air. This entailed rolling my windows down, rocking out to some Jimmy Buffet and driving the curvy road up to the Cottonwood Pass, home of the Continental Divide. If you can't quite see in my picture, the elevation is listed at 12,126 ft.

Turns out it is a little windy up thuurrrr in the atmosphere! You can tell by my crappy self-pic, I could feel the dirt hitting my teeth as I took it!

I may decide to write more about our helicopter adventures later, but for now hopefully these beautiful pictures of the never-ending gorgeousness will suffice.

I'm a sucker for a cute dog...

2011-07-27T21:21:00.001-05:00

It turns out that I miss this while I'm in Colorado:

Aww. <3

Wreck-A-Bama

2011-07-25T20:27:00.002-05:00

There I was.

Pretty much in the middle-of-nowhere-Alabama.

With a whhoooolllleee bunch of rednex.

The truth is I have always wanted to see a demo-derby.

You know, those smash 'em, whap 'em things with old beat up cars driven by mostly old beat up people.

Yes I'm stereotyping, get over it.

So the "F" decided to make my wish come true!

We headed out to the Legendary (that's what is says on your ticket) Huntsville Speedway.

Oh yeah, and we had beer.

We had to at least try to blend in ;-)

Honestly, the demo-derby turned out to be the least fun "event" of the entire night.

First, we were treated to the fast paced "Baby Grands"... sort of like mini-Nascars.

Then, came the powderpuff race where the women married to the demo-derby boys drove the demo-derby cars in a race...smoking engines, barely hanging on bumpers, and all.

Next up was the "Ski Race" where metal plates are bolted onto the rear hubs of some really beat up front-wheel drive cars. Then the drives attempted to complete 10 laps of crazy-angle driving and loosey goosey back ends. The best part? A minivan won. Yup. Sweet.

Of course how could I forget the burnout competition where station wagons, trucks, and "the beast" all burnt out until at least one of their tires blew. That was some good times!

Ok, then we were onto my favorite race!!! The boat race. Not like boats racing, but more like cars towing boats (without trailers) racing. The goal was to have some piece of the boat remaining after ten laps. This was probably the most redneck event all night.

So, just to prove to ya'll that I did witness some fiiiiiiiinne racing...here I am standing on the track after the boat race!

Oh, and that's the BF down there...he really got into the redneck spirit!

Just in case you still don't believe me...

The Simple Joys

2011-07-20T09:04:00.000-05:00

Last night was hot, steamy, humid, heat index of 102+.

And where was I?

Outside.

Tootin' my horn.

And celebrating America.

I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed recognizing the veterans.

I enjoyed the convertible ride through the thick air and watching the lightening bugs whiz past.

I enjoyed seeing the vivid contrast between the beautiful green trees and the sunset-lit sky.

I enjoyed the company, even the goofy old guy that sits next to me.

The truth is...

I am so thankful to live here, in the greatest country on Earth.

[Mostly] Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T06:43:00.001-05:00

Thank you Ryan for this great/completely depressing cartoon.

And in other news, for all those following Atlantis's last journey, I highly recommend an APP called "GoAtlantis". It's free in commemoration of this last shuttle mission. Upon opening the APP you will find the exact location of the shuttle/station above Earth! The APP also lets you see if your current location will have any visible passes. Check it out!!

The MTT: Apollo 13 Style

2011-07-11T21:50:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been having more adventures with our pimped out Black Hawk up here in Kentucky. Part of flight test is an understanding that "adventures" is really code word for nothingreallygoesasplanned. It's a love/hate relationship that you love being a part of. [That probably didn't make sense to most of you, but for my small percentage of flight test engineer readers, I'm sure you completely understand!]

Sometimes it's hard for me not to get a complex while I'm up here. I've been through entire weeks of bad weather, instrumentation delays, and personnel...ehem...issues. I thought my chances of seeing a new problem were dwindling, but I was wrong.

This week the problems were not with the aircraft, maintenance, or pilots. Nope, we had our own little problems in the telemetry trailer (which is also code word for fancy shmancy horse trailer...BTW). Just as the pilots were spinning up the engines we heard a "pop" followed by the annoying chirps from the uninterrupted power supply. Crap. Turns out we blew a fuse, but this is no time to halt a test activity!! Then another pop and half of our monitors went black. As the aircraft climbed up to altitude we were busy scrambling to turn every unnecessary power user off...including the air conditioners. I dubbed it operating in Apollo 13 mode, minus the below freezing temperatures and crew member huddle sessions.

I couldn't help but think of the book I'm reading right now. It is a history of Area 51, with large sections dedicated to the flight tests of the A-12 Black Bird. Those guys roughed it without air conditioning in the middle of the Nevada desert....all this after designing one of the most advanced aircraft WITHOUT computers.

And here I was, out in the Kentucky wilderness, with my fellow engineers, with only half the screens and twice the willpower. We were sweating (ok, if I was sweating, you can imagine the other guys), the trailer operator was working his butt off, and the test was executing.

And as my complex about being up in Kentucky grows, so does my love for this job...Apollo 13 mode and all!

July 8th

2011-07-08T13:14:00.000-05:00

Today was this nation's last Space Shuttle launch.

In that post-ignition plume are the dreams of many, whose ingenuity, integrity, and intellect fueled this country's longest running spacecraft program. Just as the plume expands, so also did Space Shuttle expand our knowledge of space, microgravity, and the engineering required to get there. Space Shuttle no doubt inspired millions (this humble blogger included) to reach for their dreams. The fiery hopes it leaves in it's path will only work to launch the next generation of human-rated space vehicles.

And as we look skyward with great nostalgia, we must remember to look onward. Onward towards missions to Mars, with Type 1 Diabetics on board. Onward towards maintaining safe access to space. Onward towards building a program that will pick up where Shuttle left off, a program that will inspire the next round of astronaut hopefuls and engineers, a program that will inject patriotism and encourage innovation.

Today may have been this nation's last Space Shuttle launch.

But tomorrow is this nation's first day toward inspiring the next generation.

FOJNAS

2011-07-07T18:46:00.000-05:00

The Fourth of July is a great day to launch bottle rockets from the pipe on your roof, take pictures, and analyze their trajectories. And that's just what we did. I like to call it FOJNAS ...Fourth Of July Nerdy April Style. It was awesome.

Today is....

2011-06-30T08:15:00.001-05:00

Your-pump-craps-out-on-you-Thursday-so-you-get-a-new-one-overnighted-and-then-take-ridiculous-pictures-with-SNL-flashback-characters-DAY!

How you know you have the "Real Bad Diabeetusss"

The Endo Edition

2011-06-29T17:51:00.000-05:00

A few one-liners-ish from my endo appointment today....

The "from the waiting room" pic

"How many time do you check your blood sugar everyday Ms. Zuber?" - Nurse lady downloading my meter/pump
"Probably 5-7 times depending on the day" - Me
"Oh good, some diabetics just don't test enough, I think my dad is going to die of Diabetes" - Nurse lady
I usually don't like to be told that someone is going to die from the disease I have, just sayin'.

"Good cholesterol is like Pac-Man...it eats up the bad stuff" - dietitian
Nice visual.

"I don't recommend grapes for weight loss or lowering cholesterol" - dietitian
Seriously, did anyone else know that? cause I sure didn't.

"Mmmm....frozen Vitamuffins" - Me

"The last time I wore a CGM sensor it really hurt when they put it in" - Me
"Oh, they don't hurt at all" - NP
"Well the needle is bigger, and they are tougher to put in" - NP
hmmm....something doesn't quite add up here.

Generally it was a good visit. Turns out I have lost some weight, my A1c while not better, was not worse...it was exactly the same, and I have a better game plan for lowering my cholesterol while keeping in mind my Diabetes and Chris. I got my prescription fixed and I am lined up to try a trial CGM sensor linked to my pump next time.

It may suck to drive up there, and flex my time through the work week, but my health and well-being is worth it. I deserve a team, committed to my health and willing to help me when I ask the hard questions.

Ok, that's enough diabetes talk for one week now isn't it!?

The Boop-Beep-Boop of Life

2011-06-26T20:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight as I sat down to crank out a grad school essay I heard the familiar "Boop, Beep, Boop" of my insulin pump. "Crap," I thought. "Of course my insulin pump would choose NOW to be nearly empty of the life-sustaining magic juice." I pulled it's whining case out of my super-secret-pump-hiding-spot and looked on with a new sense of analogy.

That little symbol on the left is exactly how I feel right now...almost drained, mentally and physically. And the little circle next to it (it's supposed to let you know that something is different, in this case, the pump is getting low on insulin), well, it reminded me of both my open, yawning mouth, and my empty brain that wants nothing to do with grad school homework and everything to do with the brie I just put in the oven **crap, low insulin**. The full battery symbol reminds me that I need to have a lot of Diabetes-focused energy this week in preparation for my Wednesday endocrinologist appointment at Vanderbilt. And the purple case, well that just reminds me that I'm a girl, and I like purple stuff **that was the empty brain talking again**. "Paradigm" reminds me that in a year, the paradigm of my life will change (I'm getting married, remember?), and those "up" and "down" arrows may represent the ups and downs Chris and I will surely endure (maybe, and probably even before the big day). I feel like my life is in such flux, yet so focused and planned...I guess that's weird.

Do you ever have these moments when you look at something with a completely new perspective?

Time to change the insulin pump, work on the grad school essay, and nibble just a teensy bit of brie!!

Chris and Gordo

2011-06-23T10:18:00.000-05:00

...steal my iPhone.

And the result:

the end.

Helicopters? Who Knew?

2011-06-16T18:02:00.001-05:00

Do you ever have those moments at work when you feel like you just aren't getting it? Like maybe you were way more into rockets growing up than helicopters? Oh, that's just me?

Anyway, I often feel behind my colleagues at work. I'm not retired military, or serving military, I have never piloted an aircraft, I don't think of the aerodynamic fundamentals using rotorcraft and I am still trying to understand precisely what gyroscopic precession is. I can't name the helicopter just by hearing it's specific "whop, whops", I would never have guessed the Chinook is the Army's fastest helicopter, and I don't have any of those spiffy "back in 'Nam" stories. But I do like to be challenged and that is what my job does: it challenges me beyond my comfort zone to learn about and delve into a world that I never knew could be so fun.

And sometimes you learn that you know more than you thought, and that your job is awesome even after all the paperwork.

This week I was selected to attend a Blackhawk (UH-60) familiarization course. Since I have limited knowledge of the Blackhawk, I thought this was a great opportunity to learn more. As it turns out there were only 2 of us engineers in the class, with the rest being from the program office or "contract specialists" (I really have no idea what these people actually do, except that it sounds super, super boring). And in a room full of "others" I learned that I have picked up on more stuff about these fancy shmancy helicopters than I thought. I knew how an engine works and how the shaft turns the blades, I knew about most of the avionics, radios, and flight controls, I knew about the blades, the tail rotor and the torque, and I knew about the transition section, the stabilator, and the APU. But I learned how proud I was to say I was a "Flight Test Engineer", to talk to the new little interns and encourage them to push their comfort zones, to stand by the HH-60M and know that my job, however small it is, makes a difference. Not only outwardly, in the lives of the soldiers and pilots, but inwardly...in a way that culminates my educational efforts thus far.

I think its important to push your comfort zone, and have moments float in as reminders that you made the absolute right choice.

Nerdy April is Back From Vacay!

2011-06-14T16:26:00.000-05:00

Soo.....

I kinda had a mini, just-for-me vacation, from this blog and life in general. Yup.

It was great. It was hot. There were a lot of fresh tomatoes involved and plenty of slalom waterskiing. Oh ya, and I bought my wedding dress, no big.

Ok, I lied about that...not the wedding dress part, it was totally a BIG deal, and I am still freaking out just a teensy itsy bit. It's like if the ring didn't make it official, then the wedding dress did.

But really deep down I am not scared at all. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Chris really is my soul mate, and yes we really can say Space Camp brought us together, and yes jokes on The Big Bang really do lead to hour long conversations about Schrodinger's Cat...but I digress.

As I sit here, back in my house, back on my sofa and back on my blog, I am just so thankful for a little break. I am thankful for my fiance (wow, that still sounds weird), and all the people that are rooting for us. And I'm thankful for my ever patient family that puts up with me for a whole week ;-)

Tornado Thoughts (A Break From the Nerdy)

2011-06-03T11:45:00.000-05:00

The other night was special for the F's bro Michael...he received a scholarship from the Elk's lodge here in town, and we all went to the reception to cheer him on. It just so happened the guest speaker was Huntsville's Mayor! And his little speech got me back thinking about those tornadoes a month ago.

From the Huntsville Times

Now, I have had some first hand experience with my own natural disaster back in 2006, and my grandparents shared stories of the Cedar Rapids flood, but the tornadoes here were something different; something I really had never experienced before. So, here are some of my thoughts, 1+ months later.

The first night the tornado went through was very chaotic...cell towers were down, communication was limited, and no one realized how wide spread the power outage was (in fact, we were contemplating an Outback Steakhouse dinner as we were cleaning up Pam's house....HA!). It was not safe that first night...all the traffic signals were out and people were in "panic" mode to buy supplies, except there were no stores open.

After that first night it was better. Communication was restored via radios, the streets were being cleaned up, a few grocery stores opened on limited power supply generators, and a curfew was instituted. The crime went from 12 break ins on the first night to 0 on the second night. People actually listened, the curfew was followed, and we all hit the bed at 8pm because we really had nothing else to do. The next few days were even better...children were actually outside playing, neighborhoods were having "grill everything that's in my freezer" cookouts and by night time it was so quiet and dark...the BF (at the time) and I laid in the backyard (remember we live in the middle of the city) and counted a dozen satellites in about 20 minutes. It was calm and peaceful, a much different feeling than the night of April 27.

We were transported into a new sense of reality. Sun up, wake up...sun down, lay down. Grill, grill, grill. Work, work, work. Community, community, community. No one could go to work, so volunteers came out in record numbers. The effected areas were filled with the sounds of chain saws and heavy moving equipment. We took sponge baths and braved the less-than-hot showers. We conserved fuel and water and food. We camped out, prayed, and broke in a few decks of cards.

And after a week of the new reality, the power came back on. Kids went back inside to play video games, neighbors were back to doing their own thing, and people were driving all over just to get out. The Mayor mentioned in his speech how he has been approached by several citizens asking if we could institute a "power-free" weekend each month, just to get a little bit of the community feeling back, to see the kids outside, to encourage people to volunteer and help out. Maybe a week without power was not such a bad thing after all.

One Relaxing Weekend!

2011-05-31T18:07:00.001-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday. Chris and I got in some great quality time since we both start school today! Unfortunately, his classes are from 5-7pm each night which means we won't be seeing much of each other all summer. [Mine are online!] If all goes well, he will be a REAL engineer by the end of the summer, so proud of you babe ;-)

On Saturday I worked a little and Chris headed down to Birmingham to SCUBA dive with the boy scouts he has been training, then we caught a movie with one of his friends. [The Hangover 2...whoa.]

Sunday we helped Pam with her tornado house some more. It really feels never-ending. Then we had some lounging time with Chris's mom and brother.

Yesterday we headed to downtown Madison, where I played in the Madison Community Band for a Memorial Day service. I love serving my community, even in such a small way. Then Chris and I went thrifting, worked on the house and had our own little cookout [turkey burger wraps and grilled pineapple, yummmm]!!!!!

Hooray for relaxing weekends!!!

Going Low...Without the AppleBottom Jeans

2011-05-27T14:08:00.002-05:00

It's Friday, and I'm happy.

Since the proposal happened almost three weeks ago, the "F" and I have made some lifestyle changes. We have kicked up our diet, challenged each other to make dinner at home almost every night, and implemented a couple-conducive workout of walking about 3 miles each night (fast walking, like sometimes Chris jogs while I walk my butt off). The results? I have lost about 5 pounds and he has lost a little more...maybe 7 or 8 (tracked by ye old Wii Fit Plus). Even if I'm not the skinniest girl, I have been feeling better about myself lately.

But there's always someone else who gets involved in a story like this: Diabetes.

And two nights ago, he reared his o-so-ugly head in the middle of our workout. "Chris my legs feel jello-y...I think I'm low."

A few minutes later it turned into an all out bitchfest about how hard it is to manage an exercise routine with Diabetes and how he doesn't understand how much thinking is involved and how I never want to exercise again. Think terrible PMS added to exhaustion added to well, jello-y legs. That's what it was.

The F probably did the best thing and all together stopped talking, because lets be honest Mr. Diabetes likes to jump on any and all words spewing from someone else's yapper. That's right, I just blamed my ridiculous actions on an inanimate thing...actually a disease.

So what is the point of this whole shebang of a post? The point is I'm happy about exercising and losing weight and having some (usually) quality time with the F every night (we've even discussed the wedding ;-). And the second point is: Diabetes sucks, going low sucks even more, and getting mad at the F while low and exercising should be avoided at all costs...just sayin'.

Happy Friday!!

Humbled.

2011-05-24T11:35:00.000-05:00

I guess if you really strip everything away...

...wanting to be an astronaut...

...getting an Aerospace Engineering degree...

...working on helicopters...

...living with Type 1 Diabetes...

...there is one underlying theme in my life. I want to inspire someone.

Last week Chris (the F) and I went to a lecture at the Space and Rocket Center. Dr. Langsdon talked about President Kennedy and his connections to the space program, it was really interesting! Afterward he was signing his newest book, so we decided to purchase one and wait in line to talk with him. While we were waiting, the center's new CEO walked up and started talking to us. We told her our little story...how we had met there 4 years ago, how we both loved inspiring kids to be fighter pilots, and how we planned to have our wedding reception in that very building next year. She was excited for us and continued the conversation by asking what we were doing now. We mentioned our degrees, and our jobs...she was impressed. When she walked away another woman from behind me asked if she could have my "autograph". "What?" I said. "I'm not really anyone important." She told me how her daughter is a junior in high school and was nervous about pursuing an engineering degree. "I just want her to know that she can do it. You did it!" I agreed to write a note to a girl I had never met right there on some random lady's manila folder, because it is important.

I also included this little blog address in the note, so maybe she is out there, somewhere, still unsure. And if she reads this I want her to know that she absolutely CAN do it! It's going to be tough, you may encounter teachers that are still not used to girls in engineering (I did anyway), you may have to prove yourself a little more than your male counterparts. But it doesn't matter, because you CAN do all those things. All those things will make you a stronger person, they will build your confidence, they will lead you on a path where anything is possible. Do it for yourself...and in the process, you just may inspire someone else.

Weak Week

2011-05-18T09:43:00.000-05:00

This week has been busy. Hectic. Insane in the membrane.

And it's only Wednesday.

Do you ever feel absolutely overwhelmed? You have a million things running around your brain, but you are too stressed out to physically DO those things? Your house is a mess, the laundry is piling up, you need to send Dr. Horrible his last check, you need to go to band, your Diabetes is stressing you out, your self confidence is on the downhill, you need to register for the next grad school classes, you want to help others, but you can't even hardly help yourself? Wow.

But this week has already had several positives. Namely, Chris and I finally installed our closet, Endeavor launched on Monday morning, and...did I mention I have a ring on my finger?! ;-) oh ya, I totally told ya'll about that last week.

I guess we all have "those weeks". And I don't really know the reason for my underlying stress-out-state, but it could be a lot of things.

[...Oh hellloooo love handles, lets work on you...]

Like I said....it could be anything.

Diabetes: Being a Bum in Nerdy April's Body Since 1998

2011-05-10T08:52:00.000-05:00

This week is Diabetes Blog Week. Obviously, I skipped out a little bit yesterday...I had some bigger news ;-) But today I am participating by writing a letter to my condition. Also, I am extremely humbled by Jen's and Angela's posts mentioning me yesterday!!

Dear Diabetes,

Hardly a day goes by that I don't think about you. Wait, no, there has not been a day since December 30th, 1998 that I have not thought about you. You have seen me at my lowest, and been privy to my highest (literally). You have challenged me, embarrased me, and poked me...in fact, all three on a daily basis. You are consistently inconsistent, and frankly a little annoying. [It's ok, I can say that about you since you decided to feast on my pancreas and short out some feedback loops, just sayin'].

You have initiated battles (i.e. the FAA) and initiated friendships (Holly and Victoria!!!). You have forced me to be stronger and challenged me to live without your restraints always tugging. You have given me a unique voice on this little blog to mix space and Diabetes. You have allowed me to break barriers and inspire others.

But don't get a big head, because the truth is...you still suck.

You still make me feel awful, give me the shakes, and make me break out in sweats. You still poke me several times a day, and sometimes it really hurts! You still increase my risk of so many of your other little friends. You still statistically decrease my lifespan, and bar me from many professions...astronaut being one of them. You still wake me up in the middle of the night for no good reason, just to make me poke myself and realize your low blood sugar feature is acting up again. You still give me anxiety everytime I eat.

But I have learned to deal. I have learned to talk and read blogs. I have learned to push through your challenges. I have learned to have rational thoughts without you in them. I am still learning to not feel guilty when you show up with a high or low blood sugar. I am still learning that you are not my fault. I am still learning how to tell others about you without them freaking out. And that's ok. I will get better at those things, Lord knows we have a lifetime to work them out.

Love, Me

PS: I have already thought of a special way to work you into my wedding! So there!!!

The BF Becomes Just the "F"

2011-05-09T17:18:00.000-05:00

It's been four years since I first set eyes on the man of my dreams. Neither of us were dressed up, we didn't smell good, and I lived in a concrete bunker [no really, I did...on the top bunk even].

The first time we met I was sportin' some worn out BDU's (you know, those awesome Army outfits), with muddy boots and some sexy post-crawling-on-your-stomach-through-the-woods hair. But it's ok, because he was too. That summer we worked long, hard hours to inspire kids. We had a team together, and even the 7-year-olds knew that we liked each other. It wasn't long before he asked me on a date.

We drove up the mountain to see the city lights and talked the whole night. I had never been able to open up that much to someone, it was amazing. By the time we checked our watch it was 4am and I needed to be back at work at 6:45. Did it matter that I worked a 14 hour shift the next day? Nope, not really, because he was the one, I just knew it.

And after that first summer together we went our separate ways, he went back to school in Florida and I of course went back to Arizona. Skype was our best friend, and I used my dad's flight benefits to go see him. I'm sure my parents thought I was crazy, but that's ok...I think they are too ;-) I was shocked how close we became even though we lived 2,000 miles apart. We became awesome at communicating...because, well, we had too. He learned that the way to my heart was a hand written note sent "snail mail"...I still have all those notes in a special spot. We went to two shuttle launches, relaxed at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, visited our friend Joyce in Prescott, smooched on the beach. Every time I saw him it was like the first time all over again.

I finally graduated and got a job in Huntsville. Finally, we could be near each other. Surprisingly, it took a little time for us to get used to being able to see each other all the time. We had to learn to prioritize and compromise in this new type of relationship. We learned so much more about each other, we learned how much we really loved each other and were so thankful that we had waited it out. Deep down our hearts knew that this was the right place...together.

Last night as we were saying our prayers, and having one of our special conversation times, Chris got down on one knee. It was so ordinary that the shock factor was dramatically increased. I was absolutely speechless. I had imagined this moment, but the moment was so much more than I could ever have imagined. It felt like time stopped and it was just me and him there, embracing, crying, smiling.

This man that I loved and that loved me back, he loved me in spite of Type 1 Diabetes, in spite of my obsession with space, in spite of my lack of housework skills. In fact, he embraces me and all my crazy qualities, he builds me up and motivates me, I say "Diabetes Astronaut" he says "Go for it!", he is my love.

So he's not the BF anymore...he is just the "F"...the "Fiancé". But I wouldn't want it any other way, I can't wait to be his wife ;-)

It's Friday and This Post is Mushy

2011-05-06T17:12:00.000-05:00

It has been over a week since the tornadoes hit here in North Alabama, among other places. We have power. We can go out to eat. We can work. Everything is getting back to normal. Even Mrs. B is doing better. She is settled in and ready to face the necessary home rebuild process.

And through all of these challenges and emotions, stressful days and boring nights, there has been one person that has been the rock, his actions have made me fall in love with him even more...the BF. I know I usually don't get all mushy here on the blog, but sometimes you have to set science, space shuttles, scuba diving, and helicopters aside. Sometimes you have to tell the world how lucky you are.

Aww...doesn't he look so handsome?!?!?

The night of the tornado the BF and I jumped in the car to help Mrs. B. I literally grabbed my shoes and headed out the door, my mind was racing with the thoughts of her house being destroyed. But the BF had significantly more rational thoughts than I. He loaded the car up with emergency equipment, tarps, water, towels, blankets, and tons of other things. When we arrived at Mrs. B's house he pulled me over the downed trees, got me inside, hugged his mom, checked on his brother, and headed back out the door. He was checking on the neighbors and asking the fire department if they needed help (he used to be a volunteer fire fighter). During the next few days, he was constantly handing out water bottles to the volunteers in the area, skipping lunch to keep hauling trees up to the street, and fielding calls about his mom and her house.

I love that he exhibits such selflessness.

Its times like this that make me realize how important that quality is. When I am being so entirely selfish, when I just want him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok even though our house is fine. It is these moments when he holds others first because he knows they need it, when he thinks logically and acts with compassion, when he is exactly himself...that I realize how much he inspires me.

And I just wanted everyone to know that ;-)

The Tornado Update

2011-05-03T22:32:00.001-05:00

I never realized how much cold showers, four-way stops and dusk-to-dawn curfews suck...but I do now. And after nearly a week without power (6 days to be exact) I am just thankful to be sitting in my house with an old fashioned florescent bulb shining over my head and a happy little computer that can now find an internet signal. It is progress for a community that is hurting right now.

The BF and I were lucky. Our house was spared without even a limb down after the storms last Wednesday. Unfortunately, the BF's mom's house (Mrs. B for short) was not so lucky. And the complete devastation of her entire neighborhood is heart breaking. Needless to say, the BF and I have been working constantly these last few days, not at work (no power = no work), but at Mrs. B's house.

If you could think of your neighborhood, think of the streets you drive down everyday to get to work or school, think of the well kept yards and houses you remember, and then imagine driving up to it, but it doesn't look anything like you remember. Windows are completely shattered, sides of houses are just missing, roofs have fallen in, debris is literally everywhere...it is a disaster zone. This is what Mrs. B's neighborhood looks like. It is hard to put into words. So, I won't really try to. I have included several pictures that I took with my own camera, many standing on the porch of Mrs. B's house. It was not possible to look from her house and see anything except destruction.

Please be respectful with these photos because they are actually of someone's home or what is left of it.

[Click on pictures to enlarge.]

What is left of the Piggly Wiggly near the entrance to the subdivision.

From the driveway of Mrs. B's house looking east.

The BF checking the mail (we had to laugh at something, otherwise we would have gone crazy).

The front of Mrs. B's house. The driveway was completely blocked by downed trees, hence how I got my tornado bruise (the BF pulled my over the trees while it was pouring rain/hail).

Looking east from the street in front of Mrs. B's house.

This is the house just north of Mrs. B's house.

All of these pictures were taken within 1/2 mile of Mrs. B's house, and most were less than that. It is truly a disaster area, the last figure I heard was 85% of the neighborhood is totaled.

The silver lining in all of this is the amazing amount of support from the community. So many volunteers showed up that they had to turn people away. It was incredible. Please keep these people and this area in your prayers, they will need all of our support for a long time.

SCUBA ZUBAA

2011-04-26T13:08:00.001-05:00

I am making progress. And I am realizing how ridiculous I look in a layering of three wetsuits plus SCUBA gear. Exhibit A:

I have now completed 3/5 open water dives towards my SCUBA certification. Some things I have learned (among other things):

1) Duuuddde....wetsuits suck, and hoods suck even more.

2) I wasn't graceful before I had 40-ish pounds of equipment on....and that's not going to change when I'm wearing it.

3) Part of the skills required to receive certification is to take off your mask underwater, replace it, and clear it out. My eyes kinda freaked out when that 58 degree water hit them, just sayin'.

4) Trying to do skills 20 ft down when there are enormous amounts of fish around is kinda funny.

5) Turns out I get cold after 4 hours in 58 degree water...who knew?!

6) Friends don't let friends dive with low blood sugar.

7) It's important to skip the bathroom before-hand. Don't think about that one too much.

8) Bring snacks...it is exhausting just carrying the tanks down the hill.

9) Make sure you have the BF drive back to Huntsville, so you can get in a little snooze ;-)

10) Oh helloooo old-man-stance courtesy of heavy tanks and general awkwardness:

Beyond these lessons, Chris and I also learned that we need to perfect our "Diverbetes" signals [thank you anonymous commenter]. On the last dive, I felt the gooey feeling in my mouth, indicating a high blood sugar. Unfortunately, this symptom usually doesn't occur until my number is super high, so I gave Chris the "Diabetes" sign and I tried to indicate that I felt "high" not "low". In my mind, a low blood sugar needs to be addressed immediately, whereas a high blood sugar can be addressed at the earliest convenience. Since we were making our way back to the main dock, I figured I would be ok. However, my signal was not entirely clear since I made a "thumbs up" for "high" which also doubles as the signal for "go to the surface". Divemaster Dana swam over and was asking [with signals] if we were "ok". Chris borrowed Russ's slate and scribbled "Diabetes sign" to indicate that I was giving him the sign for Diabetes. She grabbed my vest and quickly ascended to the surface. When we surfaced I told her I was ok, but I felt my blood sugar was high. Turns out I was right: 390. Yowza. Here's Russ's slate after the dive...

I was embarrassed that Diabetes had cut the dive short...I don't want to be that "girl with Diabetes" that can't do anything. I want to be "that girl that can do anything", oh, "and she has Diabetes."

Side note: literally, on the side over there [down the page a bit] ->

I have added a link to my dive log...I did not include any of my "closed water" dives, but the open waters are over there!

If you are a diabetic, have you done anything out-of-the-ordinary? How did it turn out?

Meow-llet

2011-04-21T21:11:00.000-05:00

If I'm doomed to be a crazy old lady with copious amounts of cats, their names will be Martellato, Ringbert, and Meow-llet, among others.

If you are a normal person I'm sure your hand is slowly traveling up to your noggin to scratch it in pure confusion right now. I came to the realization last night that I have a lot of "bellchoirs". In fact, I'm like a crazy old cat lady except my cats are groups...people who come together to ring bells. As of this moment, I have been asked by 2 churches, 1 community group and 1 quartet to join...all since I moved here to Huntsville. I am filling in on two services on Easter and am constantly getting phone calls to sub for members in Huntsville's community handbell choir, the Heritage Ringers. And don't forget I still keep in touch with all my friends from Bronzeworks, ringers from the choirs I directed at Resurrection and my kooky little quartet buddies from St. Luke.

I have shyed away from joining any of these groups permanently, mostly due to my work-travel schedule. Being a member of a bellchoir means you are a soloist; missing rehearsals is very hard on the rest of the group.

But for now, I'm just a ringer Ringer. I fill in wherever and whenever the next bellchoir needs me.

[Hopefully, I will forget about the name "Meow-llet" by the time I am old...I would hate to think some poor-cat soul has to answer to that.]

Voices From the Moon

2011-04-20T22:22:00.000-05:00

I have a weakness.

It may or may not be a combination of space books and bargain prices. And by may or may not, I definitely mean absolutely, beyond question.

When I still lived in Arizona, one of my favorite neighbors, Dr. Brown brought over a book he had recently purchased for my reading pleasure. It was called "Voices From the Moon" and I quickly digested the entire book of quotes by the moon-faring astronauts. I loved reading their thoughts and feelings, although, most of those old astronauts had a hard time expressing themselves beyond, "It was a fine powder, there were large rocks, we could see the Earth." Facts, facts, facts. I should know by now to expect this type of narration from test pilots!

I found the book on the bargain table in Barnes and Noble while I was on travel to Lexington. I quickly snatched it up for a measly $6.98! And that night I spent hours re-reading and re-living those precious moments in American history when we had a goal, we had passion, we had the moon.

One of my favorite quotes from the book also happens to be one of the most "emotional" (notice "emotional" is in quotations, Mr. Dave Scott was a West Point grad, Air Force Colonel, and test pilot, not necessarily an author or someone who unnecessarily injects emotion, haha).

"Let me give you another analogy. You live in Iowa all your life. And you drive out to Arizona. And you drive up through those trees to the Grand Canyon -- blindfolded, okay? And somebody takes you right over to the rim, and then takes the blindfold off, and you look down at the Grand Canyon. That'll blow your mind, won't it?...Well, we drive...up toward St. George [crater], on the first day. ... You don't have a big peripheral vision. Stop the rover, and get off, and turn around and look, and the goddamn Grand Canyon -- Hadley Rille! I mean, that's an absolute mind-blower. Even though you know it's there, but you can't see it, 'cause you're driving this little rover next to the ground. Hadley Rille's over there -- you can't see Hadley Rille. You can't even see craters. All of a sudden you get off and you turn around, and there it is! That's mind-boggling! I mean, that'll blow you out. So I would draw the analogy with the poor little guy from Iowa. " --Dave Scott

I miss them.

2011-04-18T19:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm slightly obsessed with my .... eh, hem.... amazing room mates. With cute little faces like this how could you not be?!

Throttle Up

2011-04-17T19:35:00.000-05:00

Who knew my challenges were not entirely unique?

Maybe she's my long lost sister....her name is Kelly Moran, and all I know about her is what I read in an ad. But it was enough.

Adam handed me a "Flying" magazine on our way out to dinner tonight. He mentioned that my twin was featured....he rattled off the usual words ..."rocket scientist," "pilot," and "Type 1 Diabetes." WHOOOOAAAA....wait, you said Type 1 Diabetes?!?!?!?!?!

As soon as we got back from dinner I opened the magazine and read about a girl who was nearly the same as me. She has Diabetes, she is an Aerospace Engineer, she wanted to be a pilot almost all her life, she is struggling with the FAA's requirements on Type 1's. I couldn't believe it. To top it off, the picture had some very familiar mountains in the background; turns out she works in Tucson. This is weird. This is AWESOME.

The ad is actually promoting a new category of aircraft called Light Sport, which do not require a medical to fly. But it doesn't really matter. What does matter is there is someone else out there just like me: not willing to let Diabetes get in the way of her dreams. In fact, the write up explains that she is in the process of getting an FAA medical so that she can do aerobatics (hey, maybe I can give her some pointers ;-).

I love it when we can find holes and shove our dreams through them. We deserve to pilot planes, fly on some badass helicopters, and maybe someday fly into space. We don't take "no" for an answer and we work hard to prove we can do it, test kits, pumps, syringes, glucose tabs and all. Thank you Kelly, for being my RSAET1DS (that's the acronym for rocket-scientist-aerospace-engineer-Type-1-Diabetes-Sisstaaaaa, in case you didn't know, duh people!). Let's keep chasing those dreams!!

Nerdy Thank-you Notes

2011-04-16T19:59:00.001-05:00

My parents always taught my sister and I to write thank-you notes for everything. I still try to do it, although I have missed a couple recently.

I thought it might be fun to share some of my mental thank you notes with you. After all, I have a lot to be thankful for!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Discovery Channel,

Thank you for ensuring that I will be on travel (the only time I watch cable) during your episodes of constant Deadliest Catch marathons. This makes my decision to forgo getting cable TV much easier.

Love, the-fan-that-is-not-a-fan-after-you-took-away-the-uniqueness-of-deadliest-catch-by-playing-it-for-like-a-gajillion-hours-straight-just-sayin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Rental Car Company,

A Tahoe? Really? Oh well, thank you for making me feel bigger than I really am, and for giving me space to shop at thrift stores and homegoods without limits. You da best.

Love, your BIG-ish BFF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Crazy Lady Next Door,

Do you really think you're fooling anyone with that extremely large greenhouse in your backyard? I would maybe trust you if you told me it was legitimate, except for the fact that you are crazy and don't talk to me. Thank you for not talking to me, just in case you actually have illegal plants in there, it's probably better that way!

Love, Your Non-crazy [ok, less crazy] neighbor

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diabetes,

Thank you for behaving lately. You still suck, but a little less, I guess.

Love, your bum pancreas transportation device

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Piano,

I miss you when I am gone for a while. Thank you for your awesome de-stressing abilities, even if I'm a little hard on you sometimes ;-) It helps knowing I can pound out my frustrations.

Love, little [not-gay] Liberace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Yellow Mango Thingies,

Thank you so much for making this time of year suck less. You are so bright and cheery, just like the weather should be (maybe you can have a chat with him).

Love, Nerdy Mango-bojango

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Job,

Thank you for being awesome, and interesting. I feel extremely blessed to have you, cubicle walls and all. To the choppaa!

Love, DR

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Heart,

Stop being so emotional...seriously, throttle back girlfriend.

Love, That-girl-that-didn't-believe-in-emotions-anonymous-until-she-saw-the-signs-at-church-but-she-is-pretty-sure-it-is-still-a-load-of-crap

P.S. I guess this wasn't a thank you note, oh well, you deserve it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Blog,

Thank you for letting me connect with readers. You're right, I don't have very many, but the ones I do have are pretty special. And I have been thrilled by all the beautiful comments lately.

Love, Someone who wants to make a difference

April 12th

2011-04-12T20:50:00.001-05:00

The time has come ..... and gone. 50 years ago today, the first man was traveling into low Earth orbit. 30 years ago, the first Space Shuttle, Columbia was launched ushering in a new idea in space travel: re-usability. And, today, on the anniversaries of these memorable accomplishments we are announcing the final resting places for the remaining 3 space shuttles; places that will hold moments of history, places that will become the embodiment of our greatest effort to inspire the next generation.

It is sad to me that these anniversaries coincide. I wish April 12th could stay pure, a date committed to firsts that encourage instead of dismantle; a date to celebrate real loyalty and applied knowledge, instead of only memories; a date focused on making new memories for future generations to celebrate.

At 24 years old, I have never had the privilege of witnessing the birth of a new American space vehicle, something many thirty-somethings and up take for granted. I look forward to the day when our young ones can again be inspired, when dreams and futures are combusted with 7.5 million pounds of thrust, when ideas travel faster than 17,500 mph and reach beyond 200 miles vertically. I want to be part of the comeback, a piece of history, a sustainable path. I want to engineer a solution and have enough passion to convince others. I want to design inspiration and launch it. I want to make a difference, because Lord knows we need some change. I want to do it now, not later, not when we have worn out our welcome aboard Russian ships.

I want space, because, as a nation and a generation, we deserve it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please take some time to check out this video. Ironically, it begins with images of Chinooks....you know, those helicopters I worked on. It's worth all fourteen minutes, for reals.

A Sunday Night Story.

2011-04-10T20:37:00.000-05:00

Government shutdown anyone?

No, you say?

Ok, fine. I would much rather have a relatively stress-free weekend, than a stress-filled weekend. Cool, that worked out.

As you can tell, I have not had much blog-worthy happenings lately. But, what really makes something blog-worthy anyway? Honestly, I have no clue. Kinda funny for someone who thinks she's all blog-writey and stuff.

The truth is, I've been a little homesick lately. I think the warmer weather here in Alabama has reminded me how much I love warm weather, gross smelly sunblock stink and all. And then the other day, I had this really weird thought pop into my head...how the heck am I in Alabama right now? It's not very glamorous, or [please don't take offense, you natives]...respected. It's not especially populated or sought out on family vacations. It's really just a place, with some cool people, and a really cool job. And I guess some good football if you're into that kinda thing. It's a place where people compare their guns, dogs, and BBQ instead of their swimming pool, winter lawn, and summer cabins. It's just different here. Not bad, just different....just not really like home.

I guess it might help if I shared with all my wonderful readers the event that sparked all these thoughts. It pretty much blew my mind. The other day when the BF and I walked up the stairs to the SCUBA tank, there were several new faces sitting around the conference table. My eyes instantly noticed someone who looked very, VERY familiar. But my mind just wouldn't let Mr. A be associated with being here, in Alabama. It soon became clear that I knew this guy from Arizona State University, and not just ASU, but my Aerospace Engineering major, and not just my Aerospace Engineering major, but within approximately the same class (one semester behind me). We stared at each other for a few awkward moments, both trying to process how the heck we would see each other here. It was strange, and hilarious, and humbling...he told me he was just hanging out here until some NASA jobs opened up...working at good ol' Space Camp. I almost felt bad telling him that I had a job, flying on helicopters.

It's hard. Part of me is so excited and feels extremely blessed to have this amazing job, in such an engineering-centered community. But part of me misses the busy-ness of Phoenix, the warmth, the massive amounts of old people...just because that is home to me. Oh well, I better get used to talking about my dog, pretending I have a gun, and learning to be a BBQ connoisseur. Huntsville, for the win!

Some Nerdy April Fool's Jokes From Nerdy April

2011-04-01T13:50:00.001-05:00

I haven't done a Friday Top Five in quite a loooooonng time. I know, I'm a blogslacker. But today is the perfect opportunity to tell you the Top Five Nerdy April Fool's Pranks (in my humble, nerdy opinion).

Number Five: Sneakily install the "Blue Screen of Death" screen saver on your prank-ee's computer. Here is the download. Don't forget the earplugs and safety glasses for your own protection. If you are pulling this on your lady friend, be sure a box of chocolates is available following the prank (I'm just sayin', you will probably still get punched).

Number Four: Visit one of my favorite websites: http://www.heavens-above.com/ and type in your location. Then, tell someone who is "space-dumb" that you can see into the future. You can tell them when a shooting star will fall and it will be one of the longest shooting stars evaaaa! Of course, you really just looked up the April Fool's International Space Station pass.

Number Three: General office pranks need not happen on April Fool's Day, necessarily. You know what I'm talking about.

Number Two: Respond to e-mails with the answers your 1970's replica magic 8-ball comes up with. [Let's be honest, it probably knows better than you do.]

Number One: [This one only works for us certain, special people]. Exclaim your name proudly when someone asks as something else: it could be Rose, Amber, or ETHEL. Better to make it something really crazy, that way the asker looks puzzled and says, "Really?! That's your name?!" To which you answer, sheepishly...nope, April Fool's....it's just April.

Why didn't I go sooner?

2011-03-29T16:14:00.000-05:00

As much as I try not to, I often take things for granted.

When I moved to Huntsville, I took many things for granted: that I would have a successful move, that I would enjoy my job, that I would find things to do, that I would make friends, and maybe in the back...ok, the very back of my mind, I took for granted that I would slide right into my new endocrinologist's office with ease, and he would pick right back up where my pediatric endo left off. I had no doubt it would be hunky-dory-smooth-sailin [saline? no...sailin'].

It only took me one appointment to realize that I had made a terrible mistake. I had moved 1600 miles away from the only people I ever entrusted my diabetes care to, and now Dr. Horrible was making me feel guilty for my test strip prescriptions, chastising me for gaining weight (with no game-plan help), changing my basal rates to a flat number all-day, putting me on life-time cholesterol medication and being a general pain to get any paperwork from (i.e. one letter for the FAA that took a month for him to pump out, WTF?!). I was leaving every appointment in tears, and instead of being encouraged to wrangle my Diabetes monster, by the end I felt too beaten down to even try. Dr. Horrible was not only killing me, he was killing my will to keep my diabetes under control.

It started taking a toll on the people around me: on mom, dad, and the BF. Mom was about to slap on a fake mustache and pretend she was my lawyer, dad had enough cuss-words to make your head spin, and the BF was tired of dealing with my post-Dr.-Horrible cry fests. So, I finally listened to them.

Today was my first appointment at the Vanderbilt Eskind Diabetes Clinic in Nashville. I was nervous, tired, and a little blood-sugar high, but the visit met and completely exceeded my expectations. After all the general info was taken (blood pressure, A1c, pump download, etc.), we met with Dr. P, a Type 1 specialist. I can not tell you how much her bubbly face and excited personality meant to me. Finally, someone actually cared about me, about my disease, about my needs and my future. She answered most of my questions before I asked them, took copious notes, and explained everything she was thinking. She explained why it is relatively easy to go from an A1c of 9.0 to 8.0 but much more difficult to go from 7.6 (my A1c today, don't judge) to 6.5. We talked about fine tuning and she told me I was doing a good job of it on my own, which is necessary to get an A1c in the sixes. She said my blood work was awesome and we have a plan for tackling my cholesterol without medication. She made me feel comfortable with my prescriptions and told me to call at any time if I want them changed.

We planned my next two appointments with long term goals, and next time I will meet with a nurse practitioner and a dietitian to fine tune my pump, talk about CGM, and create a weight loss plan. [Side note: after I explained my job to her and why it would be beneficial to have a CGM, she made a note for the nurse practitioner to call my insurance before my next appointment to get things started with that...this is miles above Dr. Horrible]. The dietitians, NPs, blood work, everything basically is right there in the clinic, and it is beautiful. Since the BF came along, she asked if we were thinking about a family. We were both like, "Hello!!! We're not married yet!!!!" hahaha. But we said eventually yes, and she told us all about the robust OB practice there that specializes in High Risk Type 1 Diabetes pregnancies. Woot. I like that.

Generally, I like everything about Vanderbilt. It was amazing, I feel refreshed and excited to go back. I feel much less anxiety knowing I have a place that I can trust, that I can lean on, that I can call anytime and they will be more than happy to help me. I'm happy to have someone trust that I can take care of myself, and yet realizes it does get overwhelming and frustrating. They want to give me all the tools possible to improve my Diabetes management without me begging, like any endocrinologist should.

Even the 1.5 hour drive was not bad at all, and the waiting room's view was worth every minute:

It's hard to tell from my crappy cell-phone pic, but that is the Nashville skyline...it was gorgeous!

Thank you to everyone who pushed me to try it out. It's definitely not fun or easy switching doctors, especially an endo who is supposed to be significantly involved in your care.

I feel that I have finally found "the" endo clinic for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And here is the cliche waiting room pic, complete with non-old-people shoes and windows!

My Anti-Diabetes Drug

2011-03-25T10:37:00.000-05:00

Sometimes having Diabetes is overwhelming. And sometimes it makes you sad for really no good reason. For instance, last night.

I'm not sure what triggered it...I didn't have to change my site, I didn't go low, I didn't lose my test kit, nothing. In fact, I was quite enjoying watching The Office and cuddling with the wiener dog. All in all, a pleasant and relaxed evening.

But all of a sudden, there it was: that completely overwhelming feeling, all the bad thoughts, the feeling of being trapped in a body that's broken, the tunnel without a light at the end. The sinking feeling of pretending to be fine, when I'm sitting at a blood sugar of 300. Always being worried about carrying enough supplies just to keep myself alive. Dealing with incorrect bills, doctors that make you feel guilty for wanting more supplies, and fighting your way through an FAA medical certification. It's tough, and more than that...it's never ending, literally.

I love these "man and his wiener dog" pics...
even if I have to be sneaky about taking them.

After a few deep breaths, I realized I was missing something: the BF. You may be surprised to know that he is an integral part of my Diabetes health management. It's not really the fact that he helps me change my sites and grabs extra test strips before we go out (although those are helpful ;-), it is more the idea that he helps keep my mind from worrying so much about Diabetes. He makes light of it and pushes me to do things that I'm not sure I would feel comfortable doing on my own (read: SCUBA diving). It is like sharing responsibility for a child, but in this case the child is Diabetes. He makes Diabetes blend into my everyday life better, and doesn't cut me down or judge me if I have to stop and test my blood sugar.

He makes Diabetes bearable. And for that I am immensely thankful!

Happy Friday everyone ;-)

The Tale of a DD: Diabetic Diver (not designated driver, at least not this time)

2011-03-23T21:44:00.002-05:00

Eleven years ago I was barely a teenager and eagerly anticipating the upcoming summer break. I had finally saved up enough money (through generous donations from family) to go to Space Camp; in my mind it was the Mecca of all summer camps. I sent away for the program brochure and wasted no time when it arrived, reading every page line by line. Back then it was a magazine, full of program dates, descriptions, prices, and pictures. Pretty soon I knew every program they offered and registered for my age category.

Even before my Space Camp adventure I dreamed of going back...I just knew that it was going to be even better than anything I could imagine. I was right about it topping my wildest imaginations, but I was unfortunately wrong about going back. And something stuck in my mind from the first time I read through the Space Camp magazine: SCUBA diving. It was only available during Advanced Space Academy and only in the Huntsville location (I went to Space Camp in California before it was closed). The reason it stuck in that noggin of mine was because I couldn't do it. Yup, it stated right there in that brochure "no divers with Type 1 Diabetes are allowed." To be honest, I had never even considered learning to SCUBA dive before, but there was just something about being told you couldn't do it that made me want to do it even more. To prove them wrong, to maybe get that little taste of weightlessness I had been wanting my entire life.

Time went by and I got more involved with other activities: handbells, marching band, internships, editor-in-chief duties, etc. I never got back to Space Camp and I never made it out to Huntsville. And I never pursued SCUBA diving because I was not strong enough back then to fight with certifying organizations about the Type 1 issue.

But then I did go to Huntsville....

I met the BF....

I worked at Space Camp (ok, so it was Aviation Challenge, close enough)...

I moved to Huntsville....

I helped the BF give his SCUBA briefings to the kids (many times lugging all the gear under the space shuttle and into Hab 1)....

And now...

I'm learning to SCUBA dive. This Saturday will be my second class. And I couldn't be happier. Thanks to the BF and DiveMastaaa Dana, I am doing something I was told I couldn't, and I'm doing it at the place I dreamed about.

I have to be extra vigilant about my blood sugars since I can't dive with the pump on. This requires waking up extra early on Saturdays to make sure my blood sugars are not only in line, but also steady. Last week my pre-dive number was 160 (I was ok with this since I didn't know how much activity we would be doing). My post-dive blood sugar was 192 (a little high, but we didn't swim as much as I thought, I will be adjusting this week). Of course, I have my glucose tabs and test kit just a few feet from the pool at all times, and I have a built-in safety net: the BF! He is helping to teach the class, so he checks up on me to make sure everything is A-OK. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity....even if it sorta feels like this:

What SCUBA really stands for: Somuch Clutta Underda Bad Assdiabetic

Meeting Fred Haise

2011-03-21T21:55:00.001-05:00

Please tell me you have seen the movie "Apollo 13". Please? .....You have? Ok, great...I can start putting away my Saturn V models and swoopy sound effects to demonstrate to you.

You may remember a certain "Fred Haise" (played by Bill Paxton, which I had to look up, because lets be honest, the real astronauts are way cooler than the fake ones who pretend to be them....just sayin'). Mr. Haise was supposed to travel with Jim Lovell in the lunar module to the lunar surface; however, an oxygen tank explosion canceled all chances of a lunar landing on '13.

On Friday I was lucky enough to meet Mr. Haise and listen to him recount the journey from the Earth to the Moon aboard the crippled Odyssey and the lifeboat Aquarius.

The success of the mission is truly an engineering marvel, and everytime I hear someone talk about it I gain a new understanding of just how tough it was to troubleshoot and just how fragile the scenario really was. Infact, I have now heard the story from EECOM Sy Liebergot, Astronaut Fred Haise, and seen the actual capsule on display at the Cosmosphere in Hutchinson, KS.

Fred gave us a little insight into how he got into the astronaut business, ironically, his path also stemmed from 9 years in flight test, similar to Gene Kranz's flight test engineering background (this always makes me happy, since I am in flight test right now)! He told us of his time on Apollo 13 with real footage playing in the background, recounted his near death airplane crash following Apollo 13, and his time drop testing the space shuttle Enterprise.

The BF and I talked later and both expressed how hard it was to believe that the man we had just seen was resident aboard a crippled spacecraft all the way on the far side of the moon. It is truly incredible....and like a true flight test pilot, he didn't sugarcoat anything....he told the facts of the mission without even a hint of emotion.

That night as we were driving home, with the top down, it was hard not to look at the moon without a profound sense of respect and anticipation and frustration. Respect for the men and women who made Apollo possible, anticipation to go back, and frustration at the current lack of support.

Good thing we still have a few American heroes around to tell us what it was like.

Sunday....

2011-03-20T20:15:00.000-05:00

....in the garden.

Just a few pretty pictures from my lazy Sunday in the backyard!! So beautiful right now!

Who knew Alabama was so perrrrrty!!?!

Nerdy Nibbles

2011-03-17T12:55:00.000-05:00

Posting has been a bit sparse lately....I have a whole post coming up on why that is. I have been up to a lot of fun things lately!

But, in an effort to provide you some reason to keep coming back to my little blog, I have decided to share with you a new recipe the BF and I tried out last night. You see, a few weeks ago I challenged the BF to find recipes that are relatively low carb, but more importantly right now, low fat (remember that cholesterol thing?!). He came through and last night's dinner was better than I expected, fairly simple and easy to make. So, I thought I would share it with you...it's a great recipe when your garden is overflowing with zucchini!

I think it was called Triple Mango Something....

Ingredients:
-Chicken breasts (we used two, but they were pretty big, we both decided it would be plenty for us with only 1 large chicken breast)
-1 Mango
-1/2 Cup of your favorite mango juice (I used Dole's Mango, Peach, Orange or something like that)
-1/4 Cup mango jam (or some kind of mango sauce thingy <- very technical cooking term)
-2 zucchinis, sliced lengthwise thinly

Directions:
-The recipe said to halve the chicken breasts, but the BF and I decided it would have been better to just cut the chicken into bite-size pieces, so do that. Throw them in a pan with a little olive oil and cook until almost done.
-Cube the mango, add the mango, mango juice, and mango jam to the chicken, cook until chicken is all done and everything smells really really good!
-Meanwhile, place the sliced zucchini in a microwave safe square casserole dish, with 1/4 cup water, partially cover with plastic wrap (or, since I didn't have any I put a ziploc bag around it and left it open....I'm an engineer, what can I say?!) and cook 3-4 minutes until warm.
-Drain water, or just grab those little zucchini fries out of the dish, place on plate and top with chicken/mango deliciousness!
-Also, it was yummy to drink the mango juice with the meal!!

Needless to say, I was impressed, and we will definitely be having it again!!!

She's Coming Home....For the Final Time

2011-03-09T11:09:00.001-06:00

Her landing will be the opposite of her launch. A quiet bird, gently falling back to Earth, with two resounding sonic booms to announce her arrival. She will have traveled over 148 million miles over a 27 year lifespan. She can boast the flight of the oldest human in space, an American hero. She has watched virgin astronauts light up as they feel the powerful rumble under their seats, and stare in wonder as they gaze back home from her windows. She may be full of man-made circuits and computers and cables, but underneath she has the soul of all those who helped design her, build her, and dreamed what it would be like to take a ride into space aboard her.

And as she slips back through the atmosphere, and glows bright red from the friction, I sit here wondering what it will be like without her. I am overcome by a sense of urgency, I want to grab Americans by their collars, look them in the eyes and ask,

“Do you know what you are doing? Do you know what your POLICY MAKERS are doing?”

“How can we be the greatest country in the world and not have our own reliable access to space?”

We are shooting ourselves in the foot, and unfortunately, I don’t think anyone will realize it until it is too late. The next generation will have nothing to relate to, no rockets with actual people on them, launched from the United States. What kind of message does that send? We want to become better educated as a nation in math and science and encourage our children to choose these fields, but we don’t want to support programs that actually apply math and science and tug at the heartstrings of one of the greatest human experiences…exploration?

Sometimes I feel that we are too focused on molehills on the ground to take a mature step back and realize the importance of looking up.

Discovery’s final landing today should signal the closing out of one era and a move towards the next. And we are moving alright, with no foreseeable replacement, hitch-hikes on the Russian capsules, and a long road towards self-reliance in space again. Is this the path we want to choose, America?

Are we being true to the astronauts that risked their lives, the engineers who poured their heart into the space program, the media who had to cover the disasters, the children that based their dreams on the success of America’s space program?

“And to the ship that has led the way time and time again, we say farewell, Discovery,” said NASA Commentator Josh Byerly.

Godspeed Discovery.

2011-02-24T20:22:00.000-06:00

I couldn't help it. Today, in the midst of a work meeting I drew this...

My mind may have been soaking up information about the latest software drop being reviewed, but my heart was miles away, experiencing that eerily silent moment before launch and then tracing the path of Discovery as she launched for the final time.

She is older and wiser, more traveled, more experienced, more revered than I ever will be. She has been a constant friend, an inspiration during those all-nighters in college, an engineering marvel, a machine with near-human qualities to capture the excitement of a nation. She is a workhorse, she is amazing, she is beautiful.

And in these moments of her final mission, her last act before becoming one of America's proudest artifacts, I want to thank her. Her and her kin are truly what inspired me to want to be an astronaut, to work hard in school, to become an Aerospace Engineer, to teach kids about space, to support Teachers in Space, to move across the country, to live in the shadow of her big brother, to dedicate my life to the industry that shaped it.

Thank you Discovery, and Godspeed.

Motivation.

2011-02-22T22:50:00.000-06:00

The Gravy-Copter!!!!

It may surprise some of you to know that even though I work with the Army, I am not a shoot-em-up kind of girl. I have shot one gun (a rifle) 5 times (at Diabetes camp of all places), and the BF doesn't even believe me about that. I'm not violent, I didn't have any clue how many presidents were members of the NRA (until Dave informed me), and if the Democrats would support space, I would probably lean more "that" way. So, after saying all that, some people find it strange that I work on the "arsenal", hang out with Army dudes all day, and climb in helicopters that have extra large guns and a hefty supply of missiles. But its not violence that motivates me to do my job...it's people, and those people pilot or fly-on the helicopters I help test.

In fact I remind myself on a daily basis that the data I process, the graphs I plot, the reports I write are only stressful for me today, within these weeks, for the next year or two. But the test organization I am a part of saves peoples' lives everyday, and the programs I support may impact a warfighter years from now. It's so easy to get bogged down with the numbers, and the grammar, and the processes, it's enough to give you a good stress-out fest (i.e. last week). But its so important to remember how your piece fits in, why your job is important, why people count on you to get the numbers and the grammar and the processes right. Their lives depend on it. Their lives depend on you.

I know the specifics of this post may not make sense to a lot of my readers, but surely the idea of finding your place in this world, of motivating yourself to contribute beyond what you can see from your "foxhole", of finding and remembering your purpose and giving your all each day.....this idea is no doubt universal. Because someone depends on you, even if you don't realize it.

Nerdy April's Master Bedroom Makeover!

2011-02-18T19:09:00.000-06:00

Before the BF and I moved into our house, the "flippers" had painted all the walls the same.boring.color. It was a lifeless tan, personally, it was just a bit too "tanny" for me. Here is a picture of our master bedroom shortly after we moved in, this picture showcases the tan well...haha.

This picture was also taken before Dad and the BF changed out the ceiling fan (for one with a remote! woot!), and while we were using fleece blankets as curtains, very redneck, I know. So, while Chris left to go see the Rolex race a few weekends ago, I got to work painting up a surprise for him...our bedroom. The keyword for this makeover is "relaxation." I wanted a room that was calming with just a few pleasing accents. I think it turned out great! Here is the "after".

It's a pale gray (Behr Manhattan Mist) with an Igloo white stencil on one wall. And if you're wondering what that gray tub is doing there, well, it's a step for the wiener dog ;-)

Another keyword during this project was "budget", so that means the most expensive thing was actually just the paint (2 gallons, ughhh). The flowers above the bed are actually made out of Behr paint samples from Home Depot (already shaped like petals), cased in dollar store frames, with sweet pearls that I found on clearance at Michael's. I got the stencil on sale at Hobby Lobby (about 8 bucks, but I love the way it turned out, subtle but pretty ;-)

Here's another close up of the stencil wall (honestly this took foreverrrrr, recommend using "stencil" paint, not house paint).

The BF hasn't hung the last curtain rod which will go over this window. [What good is he?!?! JK!] I got that little stand at a thrift store for 3 bucks, painted it silver and put an accent of the same pattern on the wall with clear tape I found in the dollar bins at Michael's. I got the flowers half price at Old Time Pottery, along with the silver candle. The vase was left over from the stagers who staged our house before we bought it and never came back to get their stuff, I just spray painted it white. I got the lamps on clearance at Ross, the beaded placemats on clearance at Hobby Lobby and I had the night stands from my apartment living days ;-)

I also found this perfect mirror at Old Time Pottery (25 bucks), and the sconces were a present from the BF's mom a while back. Same OTP silver candle sticks!

I already had two of the curtain panels from Target, so I only had to splurge on two more since the windows were too wide for only one panel. The "tiebacks" I got on sale at Ross for 3 bucks for 2!

I already had these prints, just looking for a good place to hang them, when I realized how great they would look in the bedroom. I love trees...especially in black and white ;-)

All in all, I think it turned out better than I expected...I love walking into it and feeling surprised at how calming it is! And just because he is so cute...and ~~not-so~~ calming...

Its My B.

2011-02-17T21:11:00.000-06:00

I know, I know...it's been sparse lately....my b.

I finally have the time to blog tonight and my mind is just blank. Well, not totally blank, it's thinking about all the things I should be doing...cleaning my entire house (wow, I'm in my room right now and it's a complete disaster zone), washing dishes, doing laundry, starting my 2 research papers, getting Izzy's nails trimmed, paying the bills, organizing the office, learning how to use the drill better, you know...just tons of stuff. I'm sorta stuck in this lack-of-motivation-station. My day at work probably didn't help. And after a day like that all my body is capable of doing is coming home, chillin with the wiener dog and Gordo, making oatmeal for dinner, popping open a diet mountain dew code red, watching the big bang theory, taking a shower and snuggling into bed with my brand new Nook to finish my book.....just a small escape from the sometimes crazy goings on around me.

And what is the purpose of this blog post? Well, nothing really, I'm tired of thinking of purposes, and results, and conclusions and wording ... its just an update, for all those who care...I'm still alive.

Nerdy April Out.

Hey guys, I found it...

2011-02-15T15:10:00.000-06:00

The other day we were in desperate need of dog food, so we went to one of my least favorite stores: Wal-Mart. We hurried in, grabbed said dog food and scouted for the shortest line ....

and as we were chattin' it up, looking at gum and gazing at the chapstick, I saw it. The heavens shown down in all their fluorescent glory and time stood still as the busy noise of shoppers in the background faded into silence. There at Wal-Mart, on the bottom shelf, next to the checkout where they sell the alcohol and tobacco products, was IT, something I have wanted since I was 11 years old.

Who knew you could pick up the Cure for Diabetes and dog food at the same store?!

My perfect little Valentine...

2011-02-14T12:01:00.000-06:00

Oh Helloooooo Valentine!! I love you...quite.a.bit.

That's all. kthxbai.

My Awesome Thing.

2011-02-08T16:16:00.000-06:00

The most awesome thing I have done in spite of diabetes is . . . .

lived.

Plain and simple. And yet, sometimes, not so plain and not so simple.

To LIVE in spite of Diabetes means having goals and focusing even more when someone says "you can't." To LIVE in spite of Diabetes means forgetting about it enough to keep going, but thinking about it enough to stay alive.

LIVING in spite of Diabetes means traveling out of the country and trusting that everything will be ok. LIVING in spite of Diabetes requires balance, patience and determination.

It means not using Diabetes as an excuse, not letting it hold you back from trying new things even if you aren't sure what your blood sugar will look like afterward [or during, or before]. It means asking for help sometimes, someone to carry you when it's too much to handle, someone that doesn't want Diabetes to steal your LIVING from you. It means joining marching band, going water skiing, being the Editor-In-Chief, taking walks, working out, being a counselor, moving away from home, getting a scholarship, working for NASA, going to grad school, directing a handbell choir, going on trips, flying on helicopters, making a living, buying a house, cuddling with a wiener dog, feeding a 30lb cat, loving the family, and taking care of the BF.

It means all those things, because that is what LIVING with Diabetes is all about. And it is awesome. In fact, sticking my nose up at Diabetes and not letting it steal my LIFE everyday is awesome.

LIVING is the most awesome thing I have done in spite of Diabetes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post is my February entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/introducing-the-dsma-blog-carnival/

Yum

2011-02-05T08:17:00.000-06:00

The BF surprised me with a little trip to Grille 29! He even had some wine already sitting on the table...that goofy, sweet guy.

We enjoyed some fabulous food...

(1) Appetizer of Portabella Mushroom stuffed with crab. Delicious.

(2) I had the Cajun shrimp pasta, I've been laying off the pasta lately, so the BF had to help me finish it ;-)

(3) The BF had some amazing brown sugar glazed salmon over a bed of sweet potatoes!
(4) And for dessert we had the most amazing chocolate souffle!!

Thank you BF for an amazingly relaxing and delicious dinner!!! I Love You Baby!!!!

Oh Haiii Birthday

2011-02-04T14:58:00.000-06:00

Oh Haiii Birthday....there you are again, huh?

Oh Haiii mid-20s, there you are.....errr....now.

Oh Haiii grad school homework....I'll get to you later.

So, this birthday is just kinda sittin there...you know, like my booty after a 45-min Wii Zumba workout.

It's year 24 for Nerdy April, so what? Big Whoop.

What's on my (~~now-shrinking~~) mind you ask? Big girl things like laundry, cleaning, organizing, work, grad school, bills, diabetes, doctors, etc. It's really just a big crapshoot in there right now.

Do I feel older? Yes, slightly. I believe feeling slightly more overwhelmed is a symptom of "getting older", so yes, I have been "feeling older".

Do I look older? Judging by the guard's comment at the arsenal gate the other day (Guard: "Are you sure you are old enough to work here?") I'm guessing not.

What are you going to write about on your blog for your birthday? Ummm....how about this Mad Lib, because dude, I love me some Mad Libs...kthxbai

A Birthday Lib

Nerdy April launched out of bed early in the morning. She was sleek because it was her birthday. She showered and dressed and ate some rockets as fast as she could. She wanted to get to the salad tongs right away because she knew The BF would have something shiny planned for her.'Oh, boy. I can hardly smile!' Nerdy April said. 'The BF always gets me a really pitiful wiener dog for my birthday!' The BF said, 'Hola!, Nerdy April!' when he saw her. 'Are you all ready for your birthday beer?' 'Of course, The BF!' Nerdy April said joyfully. 'Here it is!' The BF said, and opened the closet door to reveal the biggest International Space Station Nerdy April had ever seen. 'Wow, thanks, The BF!' she exclaimed. 'This is the most delicious birthday ever!'

Nerdy April Out.

The Last 24 Hours...

2011-02-03T20:28:00.000-06:00

(1) Gordo Cooper has recently found the top of the fridge to be an enjoyable spot.

(2) Izzy felt left out while I was taking pictures of Gordo.

(3) My insulin pump crapped out...I would write more about it, but honestly tomorrow is my birthday and I would rather think about happy things ;-)

(4) My attempt at Caesar salad pizza was successful (the BF ate half of it!).

(5) Happy Thursday Night Everyone!

To The Choppaaa....

2011-02-02T09:50:00.000-06:00

My name is April, and I like to think of myself as a pretty nice girl.
But the problem is...I work around guys all day.

And that makes me partake in stuff like this...

Just a little office prank...

Organized especially for special Chinook-pilot friend, Dave...

With love from his favorite Flight Test Engineer (ok, maybe not favorite anymore...or...um...everrrr.....)

And then there's the aftermath....[LOOK! He's smiling!! Maybe he's not so old and grouchy after all ;-)]...<----I made those letters small so he would have a harder time reading them...

And then the retaliation hit in...just a slight mashing in the head with a paper snowball...slung by Dave, received by April's noggin...

Have I ever told you how much I loooooveeeee working here?!

My Diabetes Chat Meter is Back Up To "Full"

2011-02-01T13:13:00.000-06:00

....courtesy of the D-girls last night.

Last night, we had a Huntsvegas D-girl meetup, and it was fantastic. It really was. I loved it. I needed it. [I also loved and needed the green tea with Splenda, but that's another story].

It was great to hear that other people struggle too and that Diabetes just does it's own thing sometimes, no matter how hard you might try to lasso it. It was fun to hear about their relationships, their dogs, and their insulin schedules. We also discussed symptoms and low-blood sugar fixes, CGMs and insulin pumps, and family and extended family.

And I thought all that D-talk would inspire me to write a glorious post about The D, but alas, it has done quite the contrary. I woke up this morning and realized I was burnt out talking about Diabetes. As much as it weaseled its way into my life, I often try to weasel away from IT; I can only handle hard-core D-talk in small bursts, which is ok I've decided. Don't get me wrong, I hope that we continue our meet-ups, I guess I just need a "breather" day afterward.

Ironically, this post was all about what it wasn't supposed to be about. Wow, I'm lame sometimes.

Reflections on Challenger

2011-01-28T09:51:00.001-06:00

It was 73 seconds of pure joy and then a lifetime of sadness, of challenges, of changes...

It was 73 seconds that saved future crews...

It was 73 seconds that proved a nation could unite....

It was 73 seconds that changed my life, before I even had one...

It was 73 seconds that showed schoolkids anyone can be an astronaut...

And then it showed them how risky space is...

It was 73 seconds that took us to the heavens
and brought us to our knees....

It was just 73 seconds that culminated a life dedicated to teaching America's young minds...

And 73 seconds was all it took to realize how much we lost that day.

And now it's 25 years....

What would they say?

Would they say, "It was worth it," if they knew the space shuttle is retiring without a replacement?

If they knew children are more interested in cell phones than space travel? If they knew it was our fault?

If they knew we are stuck, stagnant, trapped in a state of "me" instead of "us"?

If they knew we would lose our self-reliance in space and not care an ounce?

If they knew 25 years would bring aimless goal searching instead of progressive goal building?

It was just 73 seconds, 7 people, 1 shuttle.......

but what we lost that day was so much more than that.

In Non-Diabetes News...

2011-01-27T11:20:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year again...

I have such a love/hate relationship with this time of year...

Love: Almost birthday time!! Woot Woot!!
Hate: This week in NASA history...

Last year I got all worked up about it, even writing a letter to the editor...but this year is different. I feel defeated in my attempts to increase manned space flight awareness. Heck, I think even my grad school cronies are getting bored with my ranting posts pointing fingers at politicians and blaming a lack of space goals for America's bored school children.

And in my opinion, this week is such a great week to reflect on the crews lost and lead a crusade forward towards continuing America's self-reliance in space.

I am challenging everyone to do something "space" related today or within the week in honor of the crews lost this week Apollo 1, Challenger and Columbia. It could be something as simple as spending a few minutes looking up at the stars, finding a satellite, heading to a space museum, telling someone about NASA, praying for Gabrielle Giffords and company, writing a poem, writing a blogpost (hey!), reading "Goodnight Moon" to your children, or baking some space themed cookies. Leave a comment or send me an email [nerdyapril@gmail.com] and tell/show me what you did...I can't wait to hear all about the fun things you did!

Just when you think you are doing better....

2011-01-26T11:21:00.001-06:00

The now-classic Waiting Room picture

Today, like most days I visit the Endocrinologist, I cried.

It was a build-up of sorts...first, I waited over an hour past my appointment time (grrrrrr) in a waiting room where I'm sure the person with the next closest age was at least 40 years older than me (am I in my "about to die" stage where I head over to the "Diabeeetttus" doctor?....stop thinking these things, April), then they didn't have any of those little things to stick in the A1c machine, meaning I didn't have one done (grrrr again, since I was thinking it may be down from last time), then I was basically told I am slowly dying, "So here's some cholesterol medication." Thanks douchebag, "Is there something else I can do....you know, more naturally?" "Nope, with the American diet today it would be extremely difficult." "Oh," I said, thinking to myself how I was going to go home and rip up the prescription paper. "And don't try to get pregnant while on it...you know, like 5 years from now." "Great", I thought, "I am definitely ripping up this prescription if I have to be on it the rest of my life." "Go get some more blood work in 4-6 weeks." Great, my favorite thing...blood work. Then I mentioned how much difficulty I have been having with reactions to the adhesive on my insulin pump sites...and he mentioned all of the things I have already tried, "Guess you should probably just go off the pump for a while." Again, thanks for giving up on me, that makes me feel awesome....

And after the teary-eyed walk back to my car, I just couldn't help it....I unlocked the car, fell into the driver's seat and pretty much bawled my eyes out. I was infuriated, humiliated, and just downright sad. And before I called the BF in mid-cry-fest-2011, I thought about how Diabetes doesn't just mean finger sticks and insulin pumps...it means, failure and guilt. It takes so much more than some quick carb counting and fancy number crunching...it takes tremendous amounts of courage and perseverance.

It's just so hard sometimes. And a lot of times it's hard in ways it shouldn't be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a slightly un-related, yet slightly related topic, after the appointment I googled "How to be less emotional".....this guy's answer made me chuckle....

Some Recent Happenings...In Pictures....

2011-01-24T22:41:00.000-06:00

(1) a sweet Gordo face

(2) the fireplace "before" shot

(3) the BF holding the bottom of the mantel we are building....from scratch!

(4) Izzy helps the BF fix the sink

(5) April likes to liquid-nail stuff together, even if it looks like slug poop (and doesn't smell much better)

(6) a feet shot before a visit to the hospital

(7) I heart rain!

(8) Wiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

(9) Izzy waiting for someone to throw her ball....of course....what else would she be doing?!

Hurray for a happy life ;-)

Oh ya, my job is cool...

2011-01-24T14:42:00.000-06:00

Lately work has been less of the "I fly on helicopters" description and more of the "I write reports and analyze data" description. And as much as I would rather be flying on helicopters, it's ok with me...you must have the dull-ish to appreciate the awesome-ness. OR...you just need the BF to remind you how spoiled you are.

For instance, this conversation from the other day...

Me: I've just been knees deep in this report-writing/plot making stuff lately, I just finished a whole section about the mission tasks we did out at Courtland.

The BF: Oh ya, like the slalom and stuff?!

Me: Ya, and this maneuver where we had to accelerate to 50 kts then come to a complete stop within 800 ft.

The BF: WHAT?! Why didn't you ever tell me about that one?

Me: Well, I didn't think it sounded as cool as a "slalom" course...

The BF: Are you kidding me, that is like going 0 to 60 except in a Chinook.

Me: Ya, I guess it is, huh?

The BF: When I ask you how your day went, these are the type of things I want to know about April!!!!

Me: .....{crickets}......

So you see, it's a perspective thing. I just needed a little reminding...

It's Friday... Furreal

2011-01-21T09:10:00.000-06:00

It's Friday...yup...

Last night I had great intentions of doing my homework before the weekend so that the BF and I would have plenty of time to work on our weekend project. But instead, the Baja boys came over for a looonnngggg meeting, which meant they were using my computer, which meant instead of being scholarly productive, I was house-wife-esque productive. I cleaned the crap out of our bedroom and bathroom...it sucked, I hated it, I experienced a low blood sugar, and now it is amazingly clean. So yay!

To bring up my low blood sugar I decided to treat myself to something I've been avoiding lately...coffee with my fav creamer "Mint Chocolate Truffle." This was not a very smart idea since it took me until well after midnight to fall asleep....mmmm...but mint chocolate truffle is so worth it!!

Anyway, I also decided to finish up work on a little painting I've been working on....

FYI: The ground is supposed to be slanty because it is on its way up the hill to the pad...

And just for fun because I like messing with picture settings...

And in related shuttle news, I am absolutely relieved that they pushed the launch back until the end of February (I was having flashbacks of NASA's hell week when they picked Feb. 3...more on this later), but I am a little sad Mr. Kopra will not be flying...he is my homeboy you know ;-)

Of course...

2011-01-19T12:32:00.001-06:00

....I chose the most rocket-resembling instrument in fifth grade (it also helped that mom had one lying around).

And here I am...in the Rocket City, blasting away on my alltoosimilartoarocket clarinet via the Huntsville Concert Band. Yay for small joys :-)

When Grad School Students Are Not That Smart...

2011-01-17T14:52:00.000-06:00

This was the response to one of my class introductions... [I talked about how I love space, how I'm a Diabetic, and how I still want to be an astronaut]....

"Hi April. I am sure you will get to space. I read a paper done by a  government survey panel in which they estimated in 40 years,  middle-class incomes will be able to afford tickets on space tourism  flights from companies like Virgin Galactic and Space-X. So I'm sure  you'll make it, one way or the other."

Number 1: I'm glad you can read. Number 2: Since I said I was interested in space, don't you think I know all this crap already?! And Number 3: Mercury will have to freeze over before I go to space on something Space-X built...just saying...they blew up Gordo Cooper...thanks, but no thanks...

Oh, hey Miss R...why don't you read my blog? You might learn something...

Did I ever tell you how much I love Grad School?!

Wanted to Buy: 1 Complete Paradigm Shift

2011-01-14T12:42:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately, my life as a Type 1 Diabetic is all about being judged.

I am judged through those eyes that say, "You're a diabetic? Shouldn't have had all that sugar. Should have exercised more. Shouldn't be so fat."

I am judged by the companies that want to know if I am the right candidate for a continuous glucose monitor; shouldn't everyone with Type 1 Diabetes be a candidate for a CGM?

I am judged by the doctor who says, "Your weight is high. We need to work on that," without having any suggestions or offering help when I ask for it.

I am judged by the strangers who stare in restaurants when I load up the insulin pen, and God forbid, when I actually inject it.

I am judged by the pharmaceuticals as a life-long money tree.

But I have learned these last 12 years,

that the hardest judge to push aside,

the hardest judge to forget about,

the hardest judge to deal with,

is myself.

I judge myself when I see a high number, "Come on, April, can't you count carbs right?" I judge myself when I run out of test strips, "Come on April, can't you remember a simple thing like grabbing more strips?" I judge myself when the reading doesn't match how I'm feeling, "Come on April, can't you feel when you are going low?" And I judge myself absolutely every time something is not "just right." I hate having to react instead of prevent. I hate thinking of all the consequences...short term and long term. I hate being a burden to others when I have to run home and change my site or grab some test strips.

And unfortunately, these feelings, these ideals will not change any time soon unless there is a complete paradigm shift, unless people are educated, unless people are not scared of Diabetes, but rather understand it. I hate having to hide Diabetes just because it singles me out, it makes me "weird", it makes me "fat" or "lazy". I hate the lectures about complications and the "you-can't-eat-this" attitudes.

I hate having to "prove" that I can do it, that I can eat it, that I can calculate it, that I can inject it,

that I will live through it.

That One Time I Tried to Paint...

2011-01-13T20:54:00.000-06:00

My brain is really good at thinking up beautiful masterpieces.

My hands? Well, they aren't so good at actually creating those beautiful masterpieces my brain thinks up.

But it really doesn't matter...I have recently found a unique pleasure in turning up some Pandora and moving my hand aimlessly across the canvas.

In the spirit of nerds and all that is nerdy, I present my latest crappylowbudgetaimlesshandwandering masterpiece...

Subconscious Diabetes

2011-01-12T10:16:00.000-06:00

Super POWERS, not a Super Nova

Last I checked I do not have any super powers. I'm just a slightly-nerdy girl who has Type 1 Diabetes and writes a little blog about it. But last night something strange happened....I guess my hidden super powers kicked in.

I did all the normal stuff. The BF and I had dinner, went to Target for a few necessities, came home, folded some laundry and climbed in bed. My bedtime blood sugar was a steady 151, and I was happy with that. I read a little bit in my grad school book, set it aside and fell asleep. I know, this is so normal it's boring.

I woke up around 3:30 from the middle of a dream. This isn't that strange, I do it all the time, except the content of the dream was not something "normal" for me. I dreamt that I was testing my blood sugar and when I woke up from the dream I remember the meter's reading from the dream as "342". Holy crap! That's high. I started noticing my mouth was sooooo dry. "Hmm...I wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me something," I thought. I rolled over, yanked my test kit from the ground and tested. 330 "No way, this is way too weird." Heck, for all I know I actually WAS 342, because 330 is definitely within the +/- 20% meter tolerances.

I ran downstairs to grab some water, corrected for the high number, and crawled back into bed. But the whole occurrence has me so puzzled. Was my body trying to alert me about the high blood sugar via subconscious dream? Am I high like this in the middle of the night often? How much does a Continuous Glucose Monitor cost, dangit?

Nerdy April's SNOW Adventures!!

2011-01-10T21:20:00.000-06:00

It is safe to say I had one of the most enjoyable days of my life today. I had no idea snow could pull someone out of the post-Christmas depression, but it definitely did. The BF and I stayed up late last night wondering how we were going to get to work in the morning and enjoying the inches and inches of snow. It was beautiful.

This morning it was announced that the arsenal was closed which meant a SNOW DAY!! We snuggled with the wiener dog and Gordo, made delicious coffee and eggs, and put on our snow gear. Little did we know what started out as an innocent "snow walk" turned into a 3-hour snow TREK with stops at Bridgestreet, Teledyne solutions (for pics of Chris) and a beautiful photo op of the snow covered shuttle stack at the Space and Rocket Center.

I know it sounds mushy, but I think today was one of those days where you fall in love with each other a little more. Thank God for this late Christmas/early birthday present....it was perfect ;-)

And now for the pics (in slideshow format ;-)...

Sheldon the Chinook

2011-01-06T22:31:00.001-06:00

Remember those Nerdy Christmas presents I told you all about?!

I kinda sorta took one to work....

This is work...

....and it kinda sorta sat on the shelf for like 1 day....

...on this here shelf...

....and then, against my better judgement and with a whole lotta peer pressure, it snuck out of it's package....

...said package...

....and made it's way into some capable and some not-so-capable hands (like mine).....

...my not-so-capable hand...and why is it doing the weird star trek thing?!

....and now I must master it. "IT" being Mr. Sheldon Chinook (and yes, contrary to tradition, it's a Mr. because I'm a girl and it is most definitely my little Chinook).....

Thanks Mom and Dad for the RC Chinook! Not sure if you ever dreamed it would end up outside it's package, but you should have known the guys would HAVE to play with it!

And remember that time I was the coolest Type 1 Diabetic Chinook pilot? Yeah, it definitely doesn't fly like a real one.

Nerdy Nutrients

2011-01-04T18:45:00.000-06:00

It was on our car ride back from Arizona that the BF and I decided we had some work to do - nutritionally speaking that is. We both need to lose a few pounds, clean up our eating habits, increase/start an exercise routine, and stop making excuses. While we both suck and almost all of those things, we decided that maybe combined we could help each other out. Hopefully one of us is motivated when the other one needs some motivation. I asked all of you, my faithful readers for some quick, easy, healthy recipes [you can still email me some at nerdyapril@gmail.com] and you delivered.

But tonight's dinner didn't actually come from a recipe...that's right, little old Nerdy April herself dreamed it up. And.....it was so simple, easy and delicious, I thought I would share just in case ya'll need some Nerdy Nutrients.

Ingredients:

Flat bread (I bought the garlic flavor and it was delicious)

Fresh Asiago Cheese

Fresh Goat Cheese

Mushrooms (can be the "fancy" package, but I just bought regular and it was good)

Olive Oil

Seasoning to taste for dipping (I did olive oil with salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning)

Directions: Get out a pan (I used a pizza pan because it was clean). Spray with cooking spray (duh! My mom told me to ALWAYS spray except Angel Food Cake). Place flat bread on pan and add desired amount of cheese and mushrooms. Bake for 10-15 minutes (until cheese is melty) at 350 degrees.

I'm telling you it was delicious, and 30 carbs for half a flat bread (for those who need it). Tonight we just ate the flat bread with salads topped with our favorite toppings (pecans, cheese, etc.). And shout out to Denise for the Ken's Creamy Caesar Lite dressing, it was perfect!!!

Oh, and don't forget the post dinner entertainment!!

Nerdy April: Chriiisssss!!!!! Noooooo!!! Don't eat Pee-wee!!!! Think of the calories!!!!!

Thankfully[?] I Forgot

2011-01-03T22:15:00.000-06:00

Something weird happened this year. Ok, a lot of weird things happened this year.

Amid my frenzy to finish up my grad school classes, pack my car full of Christmas goodies, rope the BF into driving with me out to Arizona, playing cards, attending Christmas services, completing some after Christmas shopping, re-packing the car, and narrowly missing a wrong turn into Juarez...I forgot something. It crept up on me. Not something that should necessarily be celebrated, but something that should definitely be noted. Something so ingrained in my life I apparently didn't give it's inception date any thought. I missed my Dia-versary.

For a few moments in time this Christmas, I slipped back to my old ways... of coping on my own, not aware of the DOC support, not relying on those posts by fellow D-bloggers to motivate me past my crummy Diabetes control. I relied on myself, and only enough to "get-through" (Diabetes-speaking) two weeks of vacation. I ate crappy fast food, yes, even on my unbeknown-to-me Dia-versary. Diabetes was silent this Christmas in an effort to focus more on my precious family time and less on the pain and annoyance of IT. I made it through, I'm still alive. But part of me is upset that I missed the significance of December 30. A day when I should have at least given thanks for my complication-free 12 year relationship with Type 1 Diabetes. A day when I should have reminded my parents that I truly appreciate all their support. And while honestly, Type 1 Diabetes is a crappy Christmas present for an 11-year-old, I can't help but think it has helped to shape me into a more forgiving, appreciative, and empathetic person.

And although it passed silently this year, it is not a time to be silent. I have lived 12 years with this all taking and no giving disease, 12 years with no [direct] complications, 12 years that could have been a lot more difficult without my family, friends and all of those in the DOC. It's weird to think that I have now lived my life the "majority" with Diabetes, but today is full of weird things and I am constantly learning to slow down and at least reflect when it is due.

So, while I am not thrilled about having it, I am definitely not ashamed of it. I choose not to be silent, I choose to remain hopeful for a cure. Even if it sounds ridiculous, oxy-moronish, or weird...Happy belated Dia-versary to me!

A Slightly Condensed Version ...

2011-01-02T01:22:00.000-06:00

...of Christmas 2010.

We came. We Christmased. We almost drove into Mexico....WHAT?!

Juarez, to be exact. A slight wrong turn in El Paso (thank you ~choiceword~ GPS that took us on a ridiculously long detour through Nashville to get to Memphis...blah...youaredeadtome) left us scratching our heads about the abnormally large number of border patrol vehicles, the poor looking homes with dirt roads, and that hard-to-miss ginormous fence complete with barbed wire. "Hmm...," we both said, "Do you think that's Mexico?" And yes, dear readers, it was. It was Juar-freaking-ez.

Anyway, we arrived home safely, without Mexican stamps in our passports!

Christmas itself was perfect, I was so happy to be back in the 75 degree weather! Woot! But I won't bore you with details of the day, just know it was awesome and warm. I may be sharing some of my nerdy gifts soon, once they are ejected out of my car (still working on unpacking, I know mom, I'm horrible at these things).

But, alas, I am generally happy to be home with the BF, the wiener dog and Gordo, even if we don't have water (the BF is fixing our shower). I am also looking forward to trying some of the suggested recipes!! Thanks everyone.

Happy New Year!

Dude, I suck at cooking...

2010-12-28T23:37:00.000-06:00

But its not my fault. Ok, maybe it is. A little. But I'm going to blame it on the lack of close grocery stores to my house and thus the complete lack of food, and thus thus the complete lack of food to combine together into delicious meals (if only just for the BF and I). So while most people decide to ward off food for a while after the holidays, I think I need to start foodin-it-up, healthy food of course. Oh, and also the food must be simple, easy and quick to prepare. And one more thing: no beans....haha, but seriously. Blah.

Anyway, send some recipes my way (not you mom, I know you are probably the only one that will actually respond, and I have most of your recipes :-).

nerdyapril@gmail.com

If I make a meal from one of my readers, I will post about it. Just think, you and your recipe will be famous!

Ok, so maybe not that famous, just nerdy.

The BF Sporting His Deer in the Headlights Look

2010-12-23T18:00:00.000-06:00

Lately I have been hearing a lot of, "This just ain't right, it shouldn't be this hot at Christmas!"

But instead of agreeing, I think there is something JUST right about being here, in sunny (well a little cloudy) Arizona for Christmas. There are the multitudes of Christmas trees at mom and dad's house. There is family and lots of good food (that I don't have to cook ;-). There is the late night card playing that sometimes gets a little feisty. There is the six o'clock lighting ceremony....every night. And a gaggle of neighborhood kids to help out. There are a bunch of presents and church services with the bellchoirs to look forward to. And there is one more thing that I am so excited about....Chris. Yes, dear readers, its true; I spoke too soon. Through a crazy mix of events I have received one of my most anticipated Christmas presents - one I thought I would have to wait years for. Chris (a.k.a. the BF) and I will be together on Christmas. Oh, and Wiener von Braun came along too.

What's that? You want to see some pictures? Ok, fine.

Izzy during the longest car ride of her little life, probably.

Izzy says, "Guuyyysss.....are we therreeeee yeeeeetttt?!?!?!?!?!"

And here is the BF, complete with reindeer antlers...in this pose he is demonstrating his best "deer in the headlights look."

Lovely. Anyway, hope your Christmas is wonderful. Come back on Christmas day for a special message I already have cooked up :-)

Happy Nerdy Holidays!